Choice of Numbers (Written at age 12)

Chapter 2: Speechless

My mom is outside with my Lilly. They don't know where I'm going. I wish I didn't either.
My little sister pulls her thumb out of her mouth.
"So?! Are you staying?!"
I want to say yes, but they would find out once I left. Lilly is trying to stay strong but I can see the tears in her eyes and her red cheeks and know what she's thinking. She pulls me in a hug.
I hate to see her sad. I know how she feels, I felt the same way when Lucas left 5 years ago. Of course I didn't have to cope with the pain when I was her age.
"W-where are y-you going?!" She sobs.
"Country ten." I say , and though I don't want my friends to see it, I cry too.
"Will you s-send me something Lea?" Says Lilly.
"You know I can't do that." I respond.
"I love you big sis."
"I Love you too."
My mom comes in and give me a hug too.
She whispers to me "I'm so proud of you, and I love you with all my heart."
I love. . . .
BRINGGGG
The bell rang before I could finish. I'm being pulled away from my mom.
"I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO!" I yell.
Though I can't hear her I can read her lips, and they say "Don't yell sweetheart." Then she smiles and I whisper "Of course" and smile back.

***

I miss my family, the whole family. Lilly, Mom, Lucas, Dad. I wonder how Lucas is. He went to country 9. My brother is 20 now. He's probably married, but who to? What number did Lucas choose for his marriage choosing?
It's a long train ride. I sit at the back next to a strange girl who is from country 3. Everyone in this bus is a 15 year old heading to country 10.
The girl hasn't said a thing. When I asked her what country she was from, she just held out her fingers for me to count and turned away. Maybe her parents chose the number when she was born that made her loose her speech.
"So you can't talk" I blurt out. I immediately regret saying it, and wish I could grab the words I said from the air and shove them back in my mouth.
"I'm so sorry!" I say, and I think about earlier today when Ellie was apologizing for talking about colors in front of me. I never accepted her apology. I feel horrible. But she is coming to country 10 with me.
The girl nods her head and smiles.
She's saying that it's okay.
"What's your name?" I ask, hoping that she can find a way to tell me.
She stands up and pokes the person in the seat ahead of us on the shoulder.
"What Tori." The boy moans. He stands up too, and turns to look at the strange girl. The girl does some weird things with her hands. But he reacts as if he understands her. The boy nods and begins to talk to me.
"My name," he gestures to himself "is Derek" he smiles.
"That's my sister Tori." When he says her name he puts on his miserable face again.
"I translate whatever this doorknob over here says. He punches Tori in what I hope was meant to be a friendly gesture. She punches him back hard. To my surprise he rubs the place she hit.
He's trying to make himself look tougher than he is. I think of how Lucas would displease this guy.
My brother was always so humble. He always packed my lunch bag for me when I was little, and when he left for a new country he prepared several meals for us. All the food lasted for 3 whole days.
This boy probably thought that it's odd to prepare your own breakfast, and when he does I bet he brags about how fantastic it is. But who am I to judge. I didn't even leave a note for my family today when I left, I never even thanked my brother for all that he did. I'm as despicable as Derek.
Derek sits back down. "Next time you want to say something stupid don't jab me in the shoulder with your razor sharp nails. Just clap or something." he says to Tori.
"How about you answer some yes and no questions." I say to her. She nods. I try thinking of what she would say if she could talk, maybe, "That sounds fun!" or "Great idea!" or maybe even the one I'd like to hear the most "My brother's a slinthead."
"Okay then" I say "Do you have a mom"
She nods.
"A dad"
Another nod.
"More siblings?"
A nod.
"Uhh, do you want to go to country 10?"
She shakes her head fiercely.
I lean over to her and whisper in her ear. "Me neither, I hate the idea of my mother and sister being alone." I pull back and try to think of what to ask her next. I choose carefully, I don't want to hurt her feelings once I'm getting to know her.
"Do you see in color?"
She nods her head, her eyes wide. I bet she is trying to say she sees in vibrant colors.
"Lucky!" I say.
The train comes to a stop. We are here. We have arrived at country 10. We have arrived at a new life.

*******

I've never been in a different country. I always thought it would be the same sort of thing. Same trees that never loose their leaves. Same white houses down the street. Same sort of building for the house of choice. I was completely wrong. The houses appeared to be 10 stories high, and have thousands of windows. I got a glimpse of one of the entrances of a house. It was labelled apartment section L.
Apartment? What is that?
All the 15 year olds who were on the same train as me are lined up in alphabetical order. Ellie is no longer at the front but behind around 15 other people. Tori stands behind me. Her bozo of a brother behind her. Tori faces Derek and does the movements as she did earlier on the train.
"If you're gonna talk to her so much, you should teach this stupid girl how to read sign language."
Though I don't like being called stupid, I don't want to act like he hurt me. So I pretend I never heard him.
"Yo Red head" Derek says. So my hair is red.
"Tori wanted you to know that this city only has apartment buildings for those of the regular class. An apartment building is a place where you pay rent for a room in the building." I've heard of rent before. Some houses are rented back in country 2 but that's only for the lower class. The idea of an apartment building is kinda strange. When you walk out your front door would you be in a long hallway?
I hate walking in public, I'm aloud to run when people are around me. But since I'm in a so called group activity and I'm walking around with other people it's illegal to run. I just want to make it to country 10's House of Choice so I can choose what class I am in and where I will live and run to my new place. My room will be so empty. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and lonely.