Gintama: Remastered 2.0 Z [reader insert]

27. You should not call monks smelly!

"That's fine. You had something to do anyways. I did end up meeting him midway so everything is just alright.", You cut him off with your relaxed tone, not succumbing to the restless curiosity inside that was gnawing on your mind, what did he do and what did he say to her.

A clear ring cut through the tense air and it was Hijikata's flip phone with the mayonnaise charm.

"What?.....no way.", he began attending it with an exhausted face and by the end of it he was even more fagged.

"What's up?", you ask.

"Just Kondo-san being a creep and stalking that woman in the club—he's sitting out a meeting so I have to go drag him back to the base now.", he sighed with an annoyed curve of his lips.

"That's it? I'll come too.", you offer to the man and he makes a face at you.

"Not in that condition—but if you persuade he might actually..."

"Then it's settled! Last one to the cabaret club is a poopy pants!", you raise your fist up and Gintoki bumps his finger against your head, making you aware of him once again.

"Stop being such an idiot. If you fall down and die I won't carry you.", he spat carelessly.

"...", you sulk at him with downcast eyes.

"Here, I'll hold your hand because Gin-san's a gentleman.", without any offering, he clasped your hand inside of his warm ones, fixing his shy eyes on the pavement because the design on it suddenly garnered so much interest, courtesy of you.

"W-well! I'm fine but if you wish you can hold my hand!", you cried out as your heart beat erratically.

"It's not like that—it's me who's offering it to you!", he replied in a higher pitch.

"No, it's me!"

All this while Hijikata was internally bemoaning about the dense nature of the two dolts before him. Could it be anymore obvious that the two of you had feelings for each other? He had some prickling weight in his gut and he knew exactly why that was. But at least you were not crying anymore and all he wanted was to see that.

"I'm gonna go get Kondo-san. If you want to make yourself useful then go leave her at the compound.", Hijikata grumbled at Gintoki who gazed at the broken-hearted man dubiously.

"No! I wanna come too! I have something to return to Tae-chan.", you swiftly replied to him before Gintoki could spare his mind to speculate on the sudden abandonment of the cop's obstinate air when it came to you.

And after arguing for 21 minutes, they had no choice but to allow your gleeful company too.

________________________________

[a few streets away]

"What do you mean!? A guy came in looking for her!! An illicit relationship-aru!", Kagura patted her hands on her thighs. Across from her was seated your mighty apprentice, Tokiko.

"I can't say I don't have a doubt...maybe she's!—pregnant!", they both gasped until their cheekbones were visible and let out a shrill cry.

By some bizarre turn of events and the closeness of their age, these two had become fast friends.

They were just gossiping about the man with the black hair and fierce red eyes who had dropped by the clinic earlier to look for her beloved master and were slouched on a dingy corner in the street, adorned like yankees.

"Oi, disrupters of public peace *chew* I'll arrest you.", Okita walks towards them from afar , his mouth filled with yakisoba take-out.

"It's just you loafer. I don't want to hear about public peace from an officer sleeping on his job!", Tokiko strived to irk him.

Okita finished his food and trashed the plastic container onto Kagura's face.

"You little chihuahua!! I'll destroy you!", Kagura made a bruce lee war-cry before kicking his brown head with her heel and receiving a punch to the gut. Both did not flinch.

"HELP!! A PUBLIC WORKER IS ATTACKING US!", Tokiko screamed dramatically to bring down more trouble onto the one man she hated most. Maybe even more than that other orange-haired dunce.

"Ah—ack! He kicked me in the pos-poster-prostrater!", Kagura feigned debility and limped onto the ground.

"Kagura-chan, it's prostate! And you don't have that.", Tokiko muttered to the little girl.

"That's not fair-aru!"

Just then, a monk made a turn into the street with a sedge hat strapped on his head.

"Oi, monk you kind of smell-aru.", Kagura was a kid and kids are brutally honest.

"Monk janai! Katsura da!"

"..."

Then the chase began.

______________________________

"KYA! IT'S HIJIKATA-SAN!!"

"OH MY! IT'S SAKATA-SAN! THE SAVIOUR OF YOSHIWARA!"

As you entered into the cabaret club, your ears were barraged with these compliments from the hostesses that were completely unrelated to you.

"Wow, Toshiro, you didn't tell me you were so popular!", you directed your impressed gaze at the man who only shrugged it off with a careless nod . He didn't seem to have an ear for them.

"Hey, I'm more popular than him. No one likes a guy who styles his hair with mayonnaise.", Gintoki lifted up his toned bicep and gave it a squeeze, as if gloating about his fame and strength.

This popped a vein in the already exhausted Hijikata.

"You're saying that? You eat so much sugar that you give people diabetes just by talking to them!"

"All the oil you eat in mayonnaise must make America want to have you!"

"Shut up white-haired freak!"

"Get lost mayo-cop!"

"Wow is there a fight here?~", a familiar voice trills before you can intervene and it's none other than the impervious and sovereign ruler of the club, Otae with her closed lids and blank smile.

"N-n-no. Right Hijikata-kun?", Gintoki forces out a smile onto his face and sweats nervously.

"Uh—yeah! Nothing's wrong. That's right! Have you seen Kondo-san?"

"Oh if its him—he's sitting there by that table.", she points out a table in the distance with her frozen grin and you discern the chief's silhouette dropped against a sofa looking almost dead.

"Oh [name]-san! You're here too—how rare! You can have free drinks. They are on Gin-san!", she puts her hands together cheerfully and Gin twitches his lips at this.

"LIKE HELL THEY ARE! I'm not here to drink!"

"20 dom-perignons!"

"HEY WAIT!"

"Otae! You have to come help quick! There's a really handsome guy at the door! You're our top!", a fellow worker of hers scoured in with an excited breath and Otae tilted her head.

"My, a new face is rare."

"...see there's beautiful women here?", Zenzo whispered as he stepped into the club to the guy he had escorted, who had no want for any such thing and looked extremely confused.

"What the hell is this place?"

You were dawdling around amongst the buzz when your eye caught that familiar glow of red eyes and that soft, dark hair. You raised you voice up high in excitement.

"Ayaha!"

"[name]?"

A\N: IM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER, COLLEGE SUCKS LOL AND SO DOES THIS CHAPTER 😭