The Golden Guard x Reader Oneshots

Hunting Palismen

~Y/n POV~

"Palismen Adoption Day!" Said the Bat Queen.
"Thanks for the favor BQ here's your whistle back."
"Save it for another time this was my pleasure, what a wonderful idea!"

<Blah, blah talking talking>

I was watching everyone getting a palismen, and patiently waiting for my turn.
And a few minutes later, all eyes were on me.
I stepped forward and knelt down.
"I want to.....(whatever you want)

"Hmmm, I know just the one for you" Said BQ with a smirk.
And out from the little "nest" came a white snake.
"This is P/n (palismen name)." Said the Bat Queen.
The corners of my lips turned upwards as the snake formed into a staff.
I stepped to the side and admired my palismen.
But was immediately snapped out of my thoughts when I heard that Luz apparently didn't have any conviction. Now that's some bullshit.
<Y'all know how this scene plays out>

I was sitting on my bed listening to Luz rant about what she wants in life.
I felt myself dozing off to sleep, but was quickly interrupted by a chirp. I snapped up and saw the little red bird palismen from earlier.
"It's you! Did you come here for me!?" She said with hope in her voice.
But the bird just kept hopping around the room.
"Of course not."
I sighed at her words and grabbed the little bird.
"Come on little dude, we'll take you back to your nest." I said with a little smile.

~Lil Time Skip~

"How are we supposed to get through this?" I asked myself.
The little bird then jumped out of my hands and pushed the yellow barrier until it disappeared.
'Wow'
"Palismen powers! Neat!" Luz exclaimed.
Luz opened the door, and the little bird hopped inside.
"Alright I'm not leaving until I figure out what my future is and one of you becomes my palismen!" She said while she went inside.
"Aaand i'm not leaving you either." I said with a wink.

I was once again listening to Luz rant about her future, and I felt my eyelids get heavy.
But that didn't last long.
"Aaah!" We screamed in unison.
Luz  crawled towards the door and opened it.
"Hey! We're a little busy in he-eer!"
Luz turned around and looked at all of us. "I think we're being kidnapped" She said

"Uh, what now?"
"Don't worry we got this!"
"I didn't agree to this!"
"Just come on you lazy ass."
I rolled my eyes and followed Luz up to the ship.
"Ugh, him again."
Luz said as she handed me a leaf with a fire glyph on it. We both smirked at each other before we jumped up on the ship behind Goldie.
"HA-YA!" I exclaimed as I smacked the leaf onto his back.
"Huh? AAAHHH!" He screamed as he launched forward.

"He'll be fine, okay how do I land this thing?" Luz said as she searched for something that could land the ship.
"Oh, you just pull that cord above your head." A voice said.
"Oh thank yo-AH?!" Luz exclaimed.
"Hiiii" The golden guard said as he used his staff to tie us up and send us flying to the back of the ship.

"Good to see you too human and wi-"
"Kinky" I interrupted him and I could feel the heat from this face, and i'm pretty sure Luz could too. I heard Luz try to stifle her laugh, but it didn't really work because a few seconds later she was on the floor laughing her ass off with tears in her eyes.
"STOP LAUGHING IT WASNT FUNNY!" Goldie screamed in a very high pitched voice, including a few voice cracks.

Which also resulted in me cracking up as well.
And while Goldie was distracted with looking away in embarrassment I quickly drew a circle in the air that caused his staff to get launched off the ship. (And the spell also freed me and Luz from the ropes.)
"NO!"

He looked at me and I just smirked at him.
"ohohoho, little witch it will take more than that to thwart my mission." And just as he finished that sentence a dragon looking thing came and slashed the air balloon that was carrying the ship.