Safe With Me ~ Fred Weasley

I Got You Hurt

"It's okay. We don't have to talk about it." He said, still clinging to my wrist, his thumb moving in small circles against my skin.

"It's okay." At this point, I was barely hearing the words I was saying, too focused on the feeling of his skin on mine.

"What about your arm? On the train. In the fall, I saw-"

"I broke a plate." I tucked part of my hair behind my ears, remembering the day. "It was the day the letters came with our supplies and books. And I realized I'd be coming back here alone this year. I was doing the dishes and one of them slipped right through my fingers. Shattered on the floor."

I paused, part of me hoping he would guess the rest until I saw him nod for me to continue.

"I didn't even know he was in the room. Maybe he hadn't been. But as soon as he heard the crash, he was there before I could even bend down to clean it up. All of the little shards were in his hands and I was just standing there, waiting. And he threw the pieces one at a time at my face. It just got my arm, every time. But I guess he didn't care. Easier to hide it that way."

"Merlin, I want to kill him. I want to-" His hands balled into a fist and I set my hand on top of his, hating when people got this upset.

"It's fine, Fred. It's fine, remember? I'm never going back there?" I tried a smile for him, but it didn't affect his own expression.

"Why did he choke you this time?" He asked the one question I was praying would never come up.

I shook my head.

"What's that mean? You don't remember or you don't want to say?"

I bit my lip and set my head against his knee, hoping he would take the hint.

"Why won't you tell me?" He turned his head sideways to match mine and I couldn't help the smile that spread to my face.

"Don't want to."

"Please?"

"You don't want to know, Freddie." I tried to turn back to my long-forgotten essay but he slid down to the floor next to me, leaning his elbow on the table.

"I do. Please, Cassy. I do." His eyes flashed for a second, the gold leaving them completely. He looked stern, determined.

"It will make you sad." I said softly, conscious of the few students crossing behind the couch as we talked.

"Of course it will make me sad, Cassidy, it's not- Wait." The darkness left his eyes, but the honey color didn't return. "It would make me sad? Me specifically?"

I couldn't stop watching his eyes, the way you could practically see the emotions changing in his brain through them. I nodded.

"Did he choke you on Christmas?" His voice was nearly inaudible now. It was if he already knew the answer.

Another nod.

"Because I sent you that fucking owl?"

I felt my stomach tighten into one solid knot. I didn't think he could have figured it out so easily, so quickly. I had never planned to tell him, and now I wished I had lied. The look in his eyes was a terrifying cross of anger and pain.

"I got you hurt?"

"No. No, Fred. No." I whispered, reaching for his hand which he pulled out of my reach, standing up to begin pacing the common room.

"And you couldn't write me back, because you were unconscious. And I made a joke about it." His face looked distraught as he rounded the room on another lap.

I jumped to my feet, pressing my hands to his chest to stop the pacing. "You're going to wear out the rug." I teased, not even earning me a smile. "Hey, come on. That was funny, I thought."

"Cassidy." My name slipped from his lips softly, but his eyes still burned with anger.

"Come on, Fred..." I took my hands off his shirt, feeling stupid now for touching him. "I didn't want to... I was never going to tell you, please don't be upset."

He opened and shut his mouth a few times, at a loss for words for the first time since I had met him.

"It's okay." I whispered again, feeling anxiety settle in my stomach. Why had I said anything? It had only made everything worse.

"It's not." He pulled me into him before I even registered him reaching for me. I let my arms wrap around him and took a deep breath in of his scent. "It's going to be though. It's going to be okay. You're never going to be hurt again."

I leaned back from the hug, not wanting him to think I was reading into it.

"It's getting late, you're going to get in trouble now that you gave away your secret map."

"Yeah, I'm not too worried." He flopped back against the couch and pulled my arm down until I fell against him. "I'll just stay a few more minutes."

"You going to the game Saturday?" I asked, not wanting the room to fill with awkward silence.

"Am I going to the game?" He smirked. "I go to every game. Are you going to the game?"

"I guess. It's just so cold, why can't they have all the quidditch in the spring?" I faked a whine, leaning against the head rest on the couch and watching the fire.

"Cassy, if you want to watch the game with me, just ask." He teased, mischief dancing in his eyes once again.

"Oh, shut up! I was just making conversation!" I felt the heat rising to my cheeks which I could easily blame on the fire.

"You want to sit with me at the game, Cassy?"

"Well you do block the wind nicely, Freddie." I pretended to think over my options. "I'll get back to you."

"Okay, Cass, you get back to me." He chuckled, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Don't get comfy, you're leaving soon, I have homework to finish!" I peered at his figure from the corner of my eye.

"Yeah, five minutes. Swear."

I waited a few seconds before letting my head rest on top of his too, already feeling my eyes begin to shut every few seconds before I yanked them back open. I wasn't falling asleep with him again.