Now I'm changed {soukoku}

♡ Chapter Sixteen ♡

Dazai decided to take a taxi to the hospital, knowing it was too far away and no one would let him borrow their car, seeing as he was horrible at driving, people seemed to forget he wasn't rich, one Taxi ride cost enough for fifty-five rolls of bandages. 'What a waste' Dazai thought bitterly as he sat in the back seat, eyes scanning the buildings and people that sped by.

Dazai paid and thanked the driver before getting out, he stood at the very front of the hospital entrance, he remembered the way he had skipped out on Boxing Day full of joy that both he and Chuuya were walking out  together, both of them finally done with sitting aimlessly in a bed day after day.

With a deep breath, Dazai walked in over to the reception, waited in line quietly for his turn and then finally after two agonisingly long minutes Dazai finally made it over to the desk
"Hi, how can I help?"
"I'd like to speak to the nurse Okamoto-san? I have an important question about one of her past patients."
"Which patient?"
"Chuuya Nakahara." She nodded and typed, god, knows what, on her computer, she looked at him sympathetically
"Ahh I hate asking this but what's your relationship with him?"
"Boyfriend."
"Ahh, so you're Dazai Osamu. No worries. Luckily for you, she's on her break so I'll call her down."
"Thank you."

Dazai moved from the front of the line to the side and waited patiently, still stressing over the fact he had no gift for Chuuya and it was his birthday in two days. Thankfully he wouldn't have to stress for much longer when he heard a familiar voice
"Hello, Dazai-san."
"Ahhh Okamoto-san! I uhh need to  ask you something about a certain hat-wrack of mine." She laughed at the nickname and then nodded
"Ask away."
"A friend of mine said I should come to you because I'm stuck about what to get Chuuya for his birthday. So uhm, do you know anything?"
"I see, well yes I do know something but I'm not sure if it's something you'd be interested in or willing to give." Dazai blinked stupidly at her, he'd be willing to give Chuuya the stars if he asked, Okamoto could tell that she had him complete stumped so she took his wrist and led him to a quiet room away from any prying eyes or ears.

Once alone in the room, she turned to him and sighed
"When he was here, I told him I was in a similar situation to him, that I had gotten into an accident with my boyfriend and he was in a coma for six months, he then had asked me what happened after and I said that we'd gotten married. When I said that Chuuya-San fiddled with his ring finger and turned adorably red-"
"Wait so you're saying-"
"That he probably wants to marry you." She finished.

Dazai didn't understand any of it, Chuuya had been so adamant and about taking things slow, about not rushing into things and yet the idea of getting married before they were even together was something he'd be open to.

"That doesn't make any sense though, he said he wanted to take things slow- well actually we agreed on it. But he brought it up." Okamoto smiled at him, almost sadly
"I think Chuuya-San is a very selfless person, I think he pushes away the things he wants to make sure those around him are happy and I think that's exactly what he's doing here. The expression on his face when he thought about marrying you was that of indescribable happiness but because you both went through a lot and he knows your relationship is somewhat of a rollercoaster and that you probably feel nervous about it, he decided it would be better to take your time and figure things out, that approach is still very much valid and I do agree with it somehow, but I think deep down if he could rush in and marry you, he would." There was a pause of silence, Dazai's confusion and uncertainty visible on his face,
"Of course this is an agreement between the two of you and you need to be okay with marrying him."

Dazai had never actually thought about marriage. When he was a teenager he had no interest in it, then when he was older (both in the Agency and Mafia) all he did was sleep around and he was obviously not going to imagine himself marrying a woman he'd never see again. Then once the whole Dostoevsky incident happened Dazai had decided to keep his distance from late-night rendezvous and focus more on the people he cared for platonically. Not long after that, his nightmares began to make themselves known and his feelings for Chuuya grew but even then he didn't even think Chuuya would love him back, let alone want to marry hims