Rewrite the Stars (bxb)

Chapter 22 Lost

"What's for dinner?" Peter asks as he puts his shoes on.

"Someone requested stuffed cabbage, so I'll make that tonight."

We all pile into the car—me stuck in the back again—and Orion takes off.

Besides idle chatter, no one really talks, and the awkwardness suffocates me.

It also makes me sad. I thought that I was fitting in here finally. We all had a thing going. And I just had to go fuck it up. But this is good. Now everyone will leave me alone. I can focus on surviving until the summer ends. This is for the best.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I see hundreds of people walking around outside in what looks like a market. Is this the same one from before? I thought we were going to a grocery store. If I knew we were coming here, I never would've come.

We all pile out and split apart to look for the different things Orion needs. I stick close to Orion since he's the only one who will actually talk to me. I try not to focus on anything around me. If I do, then I'll get overwhelmed and panic, and that's never a good thing.

I wish I brought a jacket because the hem of my shirt is now officially frayed. I take a deep breath and then let it out. I'm okay.

Orion comes to a tent with vegetables, but it looks crowded, so I stop and wait next to the entrance to the tent. I'll just join Orion when he comes back out.

I focus on my breathing, making sure it stays regulated. I feel surprisingly fine for someone who doesn't do well with people or heat. I chalk it up to the numbness I've been feeling these past couple days.

Nothing I seem to do interests me. I can't find anything I feel like reading or watching. My go-to sadness games don't even work. I just don't feel like doing anything recently. It's weird, but I've felt like this before, so I know it's normal.

The only thing that's different is that I can't stop thinking about the others. They've taken up the entirety of my brain. Everything I do or see reminds me of them, and all my emotions about what happened come back.

I just need to forget, and then I'll be fine.

How long does it take to buy a cabbage?

I focus back on my surroundings and head inside the tent to see if I can see Orion. It's not that big, so with one scan I can tell that Orion is not here.

My heart skips a beat, and fear runs through my veins.

I walk throughout the tent just in case, but he's nowhere. I rush outside and scan the people walking by. I don't recognize anyone.

Maybe I'll just head back to the car? I look both ways. But which way is the car?

I mentally scold myself. If I was just paying attention instead of focusing on Orion, I would vaguely know where the car is. I'm terrible at directions though so maybe not.

I pat my pockets down, looking for my phone, but I realize in the rush to get out, I left it upstairs in the nook. The only thing I have is my ipod, but there's no internet here.

I feel like crying, but I pinch the skin of my hand. I focus on the pain, and it distracts me from the panic. My head clears, and I can think. What's the first rule when lost? Stay where you are. Okay. I can do that.

I look behind me and go sit on the curb of the street beside the vegetable tent.

And then I wait.

As I wait, I watch the people walking up and down the street. It's busy for a Thursday night, but maybe not in the summer. I don't really know.

Then a thought occurs to me. What if they don't realize that I'm gone? What if they go back, have dinner, play a game or something, and then continue on with their lives like I never happened? That would make sense. I'm pretty sure everyone hates me right now—or at the very least, would be happy that they don't have to deal with me anymore.