Common Enemy

chapter 9

Dazai and Chuuya were in their area while Akutagawa and Atsushi planned the following day's mission. Dazai sat on one end of the couch tracing his bandages with his finger, obviously bored. Chuuya sat opposite him, reading a book of poetry. This was the calmest the pair had been since they'd got there.

"Hey Chuuya?," Dazai asked, not looking up from his bandaged arm and continuing to strace it with his finger, "are you happy?"

Chuuya looked up from his book and gave Dazai a confused look. "Are any of us?" Chuuya answered, shrugging and diverting his attention back to his book. Dazai looked up from his arm and stared at Chuuya, his red hair framing his face. He didn't have his famous hat on and the top of his head was messy and curly. Chuuya felt eyes on him and huffed, closing his book and placing it on the arm of the sofa beside him.

"Are you happy, Dazai?" he asked, looking up at the brunette.

"I thought I was.." He replied, quietly. His eyes looked sad and cold as he looked across at Chuuya. Chuuya wasn't sure what he meant, he too thought Dazai looked a lot happier in the ADA. This fact saddened Chuuya as he always thought he looked so much happier having left him.

"What do you mean?" Chuuya asked him.

"I thought that I was happy in the ADA but I'm not sure if I actually am," Dazai began, sighing, "I think I was just pretending to be ok with the fact I left you."

Chuuya's eyes widened and he looked at Dazai with shock, this was the first time the two had acknowledged the past and their feelings about it since Dazai had left.

"I-I..Dazai, are you feeling okay?" He asked, this wasn't like Dazai at all. Maybe he was just tired since it was late at night now.

"I'm fine, it doesn't matter, I just wanted to know if you were happy." He muttered, looking back down at his arm and playing with the bandages.

Chuuya looked at the man in front of him, what was going on in his head? He had all of a sudden gotten so sad-looking. He couldn't help but feel sorry for him, Chuuya knew he wasn't happy but he wasn't going to tell Dazai that. After all, the reason he couldn't be happy was because of him leaving. This was the first time the pair had spoken properly without arguing in years, nevermind speaking about an emotional topic.

Just then, Chuuya's eyes fixated on the bottle lying on the floor next to Dazai.

Red Wine.

"Dazai, are you drunk?" Chuuya's eyes darted back up the man in beside him. Dazai looked up across at him and rubbed his eyes.

He smiled, it was a despondent smile with no happiness behind it. "Just tipsy." he replied, leaning his head on his arm, still looking at Chuuya.

"I knew there was something up," said Chuuya, rubbing his temples. So Dazai didn't just want to talk to him, he was just drunk- saying meaningless things with no emotion behind them.
"I think you should go to-" Chuuya was interrupted by a bandaged hand on his.

"I'm sorry Chuuya." Dazai said, although tipsy, Chuuya couldn't see a hint of untruthfulness in his eyes. They do say drunk actions are sober thoughts after all.

Chuuya looked down at his hand and then back up at Dazai. He interlocked his fingers with Dazai's and could feel the bandages loop around his wrist.

"I missed you, Dazai, but your drunk," the redhead said, knowing that Dazai would probably forget all of this in the morning, "lets get you to bed, eh?" Chuuya pulled Dazai up from the couch by his hand and he wobbled. He sighed, looking up at the man, whose eyes were glossy and cheeks pink. God, he was beautiful, he thought, shaking his head at his own thoughts.

Dazai looked down at the ginger and felt his eyes getting heavier. There were so many things he wanted to tell him, but he knew Chuuya wouldn't believe him because he was tipsy. The pair still had hold of one another's hand and just stood there, in silence, before Chuuya pulled Dazai towards the door to his room.

He opened the door and sat Dazai down on the bed, sitting next to him. He squeezed his hand, "get some sleep, idiot." He smiled at the drunk man and let go of his hand. Dazai did as he was told, exhausted and sad. He took off his coat and climbed into the bed. He cracked a sad smile at Chuuya and closed his eyes.

The ginger, stood up from dazai's bed and walked towards the door, turning off the light. He turned around, looking at the brunette with his eyes closed and wavy hair in his eyes.

As he was about to leave he heard Dazai mutter something in his sleep, "I missed you more Chuuya," the ginger smiled and left the room, closing the door behind him.

When Chuuya was gone, Dazai turned over to face the window on the opposite side to the door.

"I wish i hadn't left, everything could've been good, i could've told him how i feel," Dazai whispered to himself, a single tear rolling down his cheek, "-how i still feel."

His heart ached for Chuuya to be there with him and to know everything he wanted to say, but he knew that he hated him for leaving.

Silently sobbing, Dazai drifted off to sleep, old memories playing on his mind.

Outside the room, Chuuya picked up the empty bottle of red wine that Dazai had left on the floor. He smiled slightly, internally thanking it for intoxicating his partner, allowing him to have said those words to him. Even if they were just sweet whispers of nothing, Chuuya was happy that he'd got to tell Dazai he missed him.

He took the empty bottle over to the bin in the kitchen and threw it away. He reached up above and pulled another bottle from the rack, an 89' bottle of red wine. The same kind he'd opened in sadness when Dazai had left the Port Mafia. He drank away his sadness that night and tried to forget him as soon as possible, it didn't work.

Now he poured himself a glass again.

"To be reunited again," he mimicked toasting a glass,"partner."

Chuuya took a sip of the wine, looking over to Dazai's room. Things he wanted to tell him flooded through his mind and he felt a tear roll down his face and down to his jaw. The tear fell into the glass of wine and created ripples on the surface.

"Don't fucking leave me again." Chuuya whispered to himself.