"Oh, ba't maaga ka napatawag Mari? I just got ho-" Naputol ang kaniyang pagsasalita ng kunin bigla ni papa ang phone ko at pinindot ang 'speaker on'.
"Ikaw pala ang nobiyo ng anak ko," Nakakatakot na simula ni papa. "Hindi ba pumasok sa isip mo na pwede kitang kasuhan dahil minor pa si Amaris?"
There was a painful silence before Dan finally replied, "I'm sorry po."
Sa sinabi niyang iyon ay mas lalo akong umiyak habang ipinikit ang aking mata. Nagbabakasakaling panaginip lang ang lahat ng ito.
"Itigil niyo na ang relasyon niyo at saka kita papatawarin," Sambit naman ni mama.
"Mahal na mahal ko po si Amaris," Sagot niya. "If you're worried po na makakasama para sa pag-aaral niya ang relasyon namin then, rest assured na I will never be a distraction to her. Both of us are helping each other to ace all our exams. All I want is the best for your daughter..."
Masakit para sa akin na hindi ko man lang siya maipaglaban gaya ng ginagawa niya. Ni isa ay wala akong magawa kundi umiyak lang at umasang panaginip ang lahat ng nangyayari.
"Ma, Pa...please," I begged. "Mahal ko po si Daniel..."
I knew that I could do no more as a loud slap echoed around the room, making Daniel close his eyes helplessly. The sting of the slap pierced through my cheeks as my mom glared at me.
It was the end for us.
Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko habang tiningnan sa gulat si mama. Sasampalin pa sana niya ulit ako ngunit pinigilan na siya ni papa.
Kinuha naman ni mama ang telepono mula sa pagkakahawak ni papa at nagsalita kay Dan.
"Leave my daughter alone and make sure you cut all ties with her," She threatened. "Kung mahal mo talaga ang anak ko ay lalayuan mo siya. Alam nating dalawa na pwede kitang ipakulong dahil sa ginawa mo."
At that moment I knew that he was tired and hurt too. I could hear sounds from his line that seemed to be him crying softly.
"Nagmamakaawa po ako," Pilit niyang sinasabi.
Pinutol na ni papa ang tawag bago pa makapagsalita muli si Dan. Maririning ang lakas ng aking pag-iyak sa buong kwarto. Umiling si mama sa akin at lumabas ng bahay habang naiwan si papa sa harapan ko.
"You just broke our trust in you, Amaris."
With that he walked away, leaving me sobbing on the floor. I held my chest tightly as the pain in my heart was unbearable. The dream that I cherished most was gone.
I felt hands wrapped around me tightly as it tried to calm me down.
"Shhh tahan na anak," mahinang sabi ni manang Patchi.
Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit at pinatahan. Siya ang pinakamamahal kong yaya at isa sa mga taong malapit sa akin. Ang taong nadiyan palagi kapag kailan ko ng karamay.
"Manang ang sakit," sambit ko.
"Narinig ko lahat hija," sagot niya. "Malalampasan mo rin ito."
Sa buong araw na iyon ay nagkulong ako sa aking kwarto. Tulala lamang ako at nakahiga sa aking kama. Gusto kong padalhan ng mensahe sa huling pagkakataon si Dan. Kahit ngayon lang.
[Amaris' messages is in italic form while Daniel's is in bold]
"I'm so sorry Dan..."
"I know that you're willing to fight for me pero sorry... kasi kahit anong gawin naman natin ay talo pa rin tayo...I can never turn myself against my family, Dan. I'm not as strong as you."
"You don't need to be sorry my love. The moment your mom and dad spoke to me, aaminin ko I felt scared. Natakot ako pero hindi para sa sarili ko. It was for your own safety. I was scared na baka ikaw ang magdusa dahil sa kagagawan ko. Alam ko naman in the first place na hindi pwede pero pinilit ko pa rin."
"It was both our decision to be together, Dan. It's sad becuase we knew that eventually my parents would find out but then mapaglaro nga naman ang panahon at ang bilis mangyari ang lahat ng ito."
"Kahit anong gawin naman natin ay 'di na mababago ang desisyon nila papa. I think it's best for you to let go and forget about me, Daniel."
It took him a while before he replied to my messages.
"Mari naman"
"Please, I know that I've been told to leave you alone and to never bother you again but please... let me love you. Let me keep all our memories together."
"I beg you, let me show you how I really feel kahit through social media lang. 'Di ko kayang bumalik tayo from strangers, Mari."
"Please don't make it harder for me. I feel so bad right now and I feel worse kasi wala akong magawa."
"Then don't do anything Amaris. Just let me be, that's all I ask of you. Pagbigyan mo naman ako kahit ito lang."
"It's better if you start forgetting about me, Dan. I can never push myself to tell you to wait for me. Ang selfish ko naman ata kung sasabihin ko yun sa'yo. I can't do that when I myself don't know if babalik pa nga ba tayo sa dati. Besides, you might find someone else better than me later on. Please don't tie yourself down to something na walang assurance."
"I'm sorry Amaris pero hindi naman ata madali yang pinapagawa mo sa'kin. Pero pagbibigyan kita. I'll try to do what you're asking of me but please...never tell me to forget about you."
"Thank you so much, Amaris Jian Delos Reyes for being my sunshine and moon during dark times. 7 months of knowing you was the best 7 months of my life. Remember, this is not the end of our story."
"Thank you rin Daniel Joaquin Lim for giving me the most memorable 7 months of my whole existence. I don't want to end this with a goodbye but I don't think I've got much of a choice."
"Study well and follow your dreams. I know you're hesitant to proceed to law school but, isa lang masasabi ko...you're gonna be a great lawyer one day. But if you really do change your mind then go for it and follow your dreams. Alam ko naman that no matter what path you take, you'll succeed. I'll be looking forward to your success."
"I hope destiny will find its way to let us meet one day."
"I'm looking forward for the moon to shine brightly one day. A day when it can once again light up my world."
Nanigas ang aking mga daliri at hindi ko mapigilan ang pagbuhos ng aking luha sa aming pag-uusap. Hindi ko na sinagot ang huling mensahe na kaniyang ipinadala at nilayo ko na lamang ang aking cellphone.
Sa gabing iyon ko naranasan ang grabeng lungkot at pighati sa aking buong buhay.
It's sad to know how fast the night changes...
How fast my happiness was snatched away from me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Soulless Dream of Amaris
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