invasato [h.s]

21

I glance down at my notebook.

My eyes dance over the stale words that have been sitting on the lines of the paper for an hour now, waiting in a letter that will never be addressed.

I close it, hiding the words away.

Instead, I pull out my phone. Last night, Angela gave me the numbers of Niall, Harry, Liam, and Louis. I highly doubt that I'll ever need to willingly contact any of them.

I scroll through my notifications. Isaac has sent me a few pictures from last night. He went out with his friends, the same group from the beach. Followed by these pictures, were drunken texts of him telling me how much he misses me.

It feels weird to be hiding so much from him. It makes me feel like a bad partner. But, if I were to tell him about what's going on...I'd put him in danger, wouldn't I?

Maybe it's best to leave him in the dark.

Recognizing that I'm not gonna get any sleep, I sigh and sit up on the couch. My eyes are heavy from the lack of rest but my body physically won't let me sleep. I run my hands over my face and through my hair. Dressed in an old white t shirt and grey sweatpants, I stand up and grab my toothbrush and toothpaste from my bag before heading to the guest bathroom.

My hair was a mess. I still haven't showered from last night and I definitely don't look my best right now. I shake my head at my own appearance and begin brushing my teeth and then washing my face afterwards.

Feeling a little more refreshed, I walk out of the bathroom and back to the area where I was just laying down. The scent of coffee fills my nose, and I realize that Angela is up now, in the kitchen.

I walk in, seeing her standing at the kitchen counter with coffee being made in the machine behind her. Her hair is up in a bun, her body in the pajamas she slept in. When she sees me, she greets me with a soft smile.

I don't know where her and I stand right now. I want to set boundaries, but that'll be hard considering I'm involved with whatever this is now. After I came back here last night, we smoked and talked about everything. Maybe it was due to the fact that I was high that I felt normal with her.

I want to be normal with her.

But the circumstances don't exactly allow for that.

"Do you want a coffee?" she asks.

I nod, trying not to seem like I'm overthinking my every move. "Okay."

The machine finishes up with the coffee and she pours the steaming liquid into two different mugs. She puts some extra milk and sugar in mine because she knows I hate the bitterness of coffee.

"Did you sleep okay? I'm sorry I don't have a guest bedroom—"

"It's fine. I wouldn't have slept well if you had one anyways." I say as she passes the white mug over to me.

Her brows furrow. "You didn't sleep?"

"My head was all over the place, I guess." I murmur before bringing the mug up to my lips and taking a sip of the hot beverage.

I can feel her giving me a look of concern. I flick my eyes up from the mug, meeting her hazel ones as I set my cup down.