Prosecuting The Victim, Gender Biases, and The Psychological Impact of Injustice

Chapter 14: Choosing Social Work as a vocation and Writing as an avocation...

I had overcome so many challenges and had so many accomplishments. I wasn't nearly as shy as I had been. When I started college five years earlier, I hardly had any social skills. Now, I felt rather competent in this area.

Make no mistake, I did not have all the skills and competencies to be successful in the field. I still had so much to learn and to do before I could get there. 

Still, I was graduating without a job offer. I was interviewing with companies that came to campus but unlike other students, I wasn't getting any job offers. It was infinitely obvious to any employer that engineering was not a good match for me. I wasn't an actor. I couldn't fool any employer no matter how hard I tried.

My supervisor during my several years at Digital Equipment Corporation, Bruce Smith knew that I wasn't in the right field. During my exit interview as a co-op employee, he said "you don't seem like the other co-op students. I don't think this is the right field for you."

I answered, "yes, I have figured that out. I am going on to get a graduate degree in Social Work after I graduate from Georgia Tech. "

Anyway, on the day before my graduation, my best friend, Thomas Faison, and his wife, Jo-Lee, had come to see me graduate. He was my roommate until he graduated so for about two years. He had come from Chapel Hill, North Carolina to Georgia Tech and I had come from Connecticut, up north. Jo-Lee and I were best friends too and we hung out together all the time before joining Thomas in Massachusetts where he had gotten a job after graduation.

An aside – the wedding of my friends.

I was the best man at their wedding. It was interesting. I have one more story to tell here. I said I never only had one "date" through my undergraduate years in an earlier chapter ago when I described asking out the girl from the post office where I worked.

There was one other girl that I went out with a couple of times. Around the time of their wedding, Jo-Lee asked her friend whose name I cannot remember, to show me how to dance for the required "dance" the best man would be forced to do. I felt sorry for Thomas who also had to engage in this ritual of a similar "dance" that he would hate as much as I did, I imagine. The only thing that stands out is the dresses that the brides' maids and maid-of-honor wore. The maid-of-honor held my attention though in the very revealing low-cut dress that made it hard to not notice her breasts. 

The last thing I wanted was to seem like someone who only noticed those things but evolution teaches us that certain things are instinctual because they promote the successful continuation of a species. (I would never imagine the need to over-explain this if it were not for events that occurred later when I was falsely accused of a crime.)

She seemed friendly and kind as she tried to guide me, and she was acting considerate of my discomfort. Right now, I cannot even form an image of me trying to dance.

After the wedding, there was some event with many people over at the home of part of Jo-Lee's extended family. Jo-Lee was from the area. I was thinking about asking Jo-Lee about her bridesmaid, trying to find the courage to do this. I don't remember the details about how I came to find her attractive and I hate that the only thing that sticks in my mind is that she had nice breasts.

Anyway, then Jo-Lee pointed out how much her cousin Marleesa was interested in me. I noticed she was pretty too but don't ask me to describe her for this story. I just remember noticing that and I am considering what followed. At first, I was in denial, still doubting that any girl would be interested in me. I was a junior and this was before I asked the girl out from the post office, which I described in an earlier chapter.

Eventually, I started noticing everything that Marleesa was doing to be nice and show her concern. I remembered they had a dog at that house that was annoying. Marlessa noticed my annoyance and got the dog away from me. I then looked up at Thomas and Jo-Lee who had a look like "see."