Behind Closed Doors

III

Onikas Pov

I hurried to the bathroom, and I wasn't surprised when I heard Kenzies foot steps behind me. How'd I know it was her? She has a certain angry walk that I can somehow just hear and feel.

"Onika you've been acting weird as hell lately. You aren't even gonna sit with me?" She asked sounding annoyed. I didn't know what to say honestly.

"I—I just like hanging out with someone new sometimes." I said looking down and she stared at me.

"You like hanging around weirdos? And ridiculously irrelevant people?" She asks letting out a bitter chuckle. I always hated her laugh, It was never a genuine one.

"She's really nice." I slightly defended Beyoncé. She was really nice, and pretty funny. It felt nice  to just be around her. I kept looking down and the tension could be cut with a knife.

"Huh. Well since you came here I'm assuming you lied to be this morning? You did eat didn't you?" She asked and I nodded. I knew I'd give in.

"Cmon Onika, you have to know by now.." She said, she sounded so disappointed in me and I could feel tears well up in my eyes.

I never want to disappoint anyone, that's my biggest fear.

"I know.." I said and I felt her hand come on my shoulder and I looked up into her brown eyes.

"Then get to it." She said stepping away and opening a stall for me. I did my routine, I didn't like it. It felt horrible, the feeling of my own vomit coming up and forcing myself to do this.

She rubbed my back as I let out my breakfeast from earlier.

Next thing I know she's wiping my mouth for me, "See? It wasn't that hard." She said with a smile.

Kenzie and Is relationship was— confusing.

She claimed to be my friend, she said that she's help me at any cost and I believed her. I still do—she's my friend right?

"Meek has a type Nicki, if you wanna stay that type you can't just be eating whatever." She said. Every other conversation she had felt like a mom telling her daughter off, me being the daughter in question.

"I was just— hungry okay? It's really exhausting eating celery for breakfast and you expecting that to be able to fuel me for the whole day!" I said slightly firing back, but with a sore throat.

"I get tired okay—and—"

"I'm sorry—I guess I'm not doing the best I could as your coach huh.."She said and I immediately shook my head.

"No-no you're doing great I just—"

"If I was doing good you would be able to withstand this.." She trailed off once more and I shook my head constantly to the point where it hurt.

"No! It's me—it's me—I'm not- strong enough." I finally said and I heard her let out a sound of approval.

"Oh don't be so hard on yourself—you'll get up there; on my level eventually." She said patting my back with a smile. I just nodded hazily as she helped me up.

"Wipe your mouth off, brush your teeth, and spray this in your mouth." She said handing me spray, I did as she told and I felt her eyes on me the whole time.

"I did it." I said and I heard her hum.

"I'll let you hang out with that girl,"She says walking towards me. That was another thing, I felt like I always needed her permission.

"But don't go telling her about this alright?" She said looking me in the eyes seriously and I nodded.

"Aslong as you understand." She said and I just nodded again. My throat still kinda hurt.