Aliens on Aventine Hill

Joseph [Part 2]

Gray picked up the phone and prayed that Joseph would answer. Stay away, he had said, I can't do it anymore. He'd meant it, yet here he was, crawling back again. He cringed as the phone rang once, twice... Of course he's not going to answer, not after everything I...

"Hello?"

The voice that answered was drawn and distracted, completely disinterested in anything but the television blaring in the background. Gray froze. He didn't know this voice; had he dialed the number wrong? No, it couldn't be; his fingers fluttered through the numbers against the wallpaper.

"Hello? Hello?" his heart leapt into his mouth as the voice droned impatiently. "Anybody there?"

Of course, Joseph wasn't there. After everything that had happened between him and his family, how could he have stayed with them? Gray cursed himself, looking longingly at the hook and then back at the living room. He took a deep breath: Alright, you can do this. All you have to do is ask whe...

He opened his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by another voice demanding, "Who is it, Ma?"

Gino.

"Dunno," Mrs. D'Angelo replied with another smoky sigh, "Doesn't sound like there's anyone at all. I swear, this goddamn phone..."

"Oh, it's alright," another voice said, "Give it here."

Gray's grip tightened on his handset as the D'angelo's phone changed hands. He could feel the blood throbbing in his throat, paralyzing his tongue. A wave of emotions washed over him at that knowing "hello."

He fought the urge to hang up, "Hey."

Joseph stiffened as though he hadn't really been expecting anyone to be on the other side. Gray gritted his teeth, unable to tell if it was surprise or anger that had silenced Joseph's bravado—and unable to overcome the shame that had paralyzed his own tongue.

Come on, he squeezed his temples, swallow your pride, will you? This isn't hard. You know he'll say yes. Gray couldn't bear to think otherwise. You two were friends once, don't you remember?

He did remember. That's what made it hard.

Joseph drew a breath, arming some sharp remark, but Gray scrambled to cut him off, "Before you say anything...!"

To his surprise, Gray heard his friend let out the breath. He waited patiently on the other end of the line. Alright, now keep going...

"Listen, you know I wouldn't be doing this if I..." Gray leaned back against the wall and sunk to the floor, covering his face with his hand, "if I..."

There was a strange, irritated tone in Joseph's voice, "You know I'm not angry with you, right?"

Gray's hand fell against the floorboards. A moment later, he scrunched his eyes shut, rubbing agitatedly at his temple. He could still feel the soft skin of Joseph's throat beneath his hands, the feeling of Joseph's cheekbones beneath his knuckles.

How can you not be?

"Gray?"

How much easier it would've been to leave the receiver hanging there, swing back and forth on its coiled cable. How much easier it would've been to hold his breath and let Joseph call out into empty air...

So much easier than asking for help.

"Gray, I know you're there."

He rushed the words out, choked by a lump in his throat, "Look, I know what I said and what I did and how I've treated you... but... But Thursdays were Arnold's days, and I just can't leave him home alone."

Joseph was silent on the other end. Gray couldn't tell if there was anger or disgust behind it. He wondered if Joseph could hear that he was on his knees.

"I know that we're..." he ran a frazzled hand through his hair, trying to think of what to say, "but this is about Roman. Not me. Not us. Just..."

He choked again, looking up at the ceiling, "Please, Joseph. There's no one else I can trust."

Still no response. The handset was beginning to tremble in his hand. He looked again at the hook; there was still time to hang up. He'd figure something out. Roman could just sit at a table in Milton's while he worked the counter, and then when he showed up for the warehouses this afternoon... No, that wouldn't work. He was on thin enough ice as it was...

"Joseph, I... I f..." Gray cursed again under his breath, "I messed up. I..."

I miss you.

"OK," the voice on the other end of the line surrendered.

Gray let out the breath he'd been holding, "Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem," Joseph said, the tension easing from his voice. Gray moved to hang up the phone, but paused as Joseph asked, "Hey, Gray...?"

He bit his lip, bracing himself, "Yeah?"

"You know," Joseph thought better of it, "never mind."

The receiver clicked quietly.

Gray hung the phone up and stepped slowly back. That wasn't so hard, was it? Roman stood in the hallway behind him, stuffed wolf clutched in his arms. His eyes were wide, almost fearful. Gray shook his head and looped an arm around his brother's shoulders.

Roman didn't look at him, burying his face in his elder brother's shirt and mumbling something into the fabric. Gray couldn't make it out, but he hugged his brother tightly and ruffled his hair, "It's gonna be OK. Joseph won't let anything happen to you. You know that."

Roman looked up.

"It's gonna be OK. I promise."