Somewhat Damaged | Tim Riggins

Four

FOUR | EVERYONE KNOWS

"You're sittin by Tim Riggins at lunch?"

Tyra runs up behind me in the hallway, her shiny blonde hair fluttering behind her.

"Yeah, why? Wait, how do you know that" I ask, not waiting for Tyra to catch up to me. If I miss geometry again Mrs. Taylor's going to have my ass in academic jail.

"Everyone knows, Kasey"

I stop walking, "What do you mean everyone knows?"

"Kasey, don't be stupid. You know how rumor's fly in this school" Tyra says, like that makes this any less confusing.

"Rumors? You mean like dating?"

Tyra rolls her eyes, "Yes like dating! Kasey, you're sitting by Tim Riggins"

"I sat by him, once. Actually, he sat by me! And no, we're not dating. He doesn't even know who I am."

I turn to start walking down the hall, but before I can get anywhere fast Tyra grabs my elbow.

"Kasey, it doesn't matter if you're not dating. Everybody already thinks you are. Your fate is sealed."

I pull away from her, "Whatever, Tyra. Everyone in this school already has an opinion about me, this Tim Riggins shit doesn't change that. They can think I'm dating him, I don't care" I pause, "Actually,  this Tim Riggins dating allegation might help my reputation out a little bit."

"Wait, Kasey just listen-"

"See ya later Ty!" I wave and turn back around, basically running to pre-calc. Usually I wouldn't care so much, but I'm currently failing geometry, and if I have to retake it next semester I'm probably not graduating on time.

I don't want to spend more time in Dillon than I have to.

•••

A few people eye me as I enter the cafeteria, turning and whispering to their friends
as I pass by tables of curious people. At least it's only a few, because the last time I was the subject of Dillon rumors I almost dropped out.

My usual table is empty, thank God. Maybe Tim has decided-

Oh shit.

Big Tim Riggins comes lumbering into the cafeteria, backpack slung over one shoulder and lunch in hand. He moves slowly, deliberately, like he knows people are staring. Like he's challenging them to say something. He passes the football players without looking at them, probably a deliberate choice, and sits adjacent from me.

I look down at me hands, my stomach in knots. Listen, I can pretend all day that being the subject of rumors doesn't bother me - but it does.

Tim pushes his food around his tray, looking completely unbothered. I can't tell if this is some sort of self-imposed exile or if he's actually been ousted from the football team - it's hard to say.

The silence is awkward - or at least to me it is.

Should I say something?

No, don't. Don't add fuel to the fire.

"Hey, uh.."

Too late to go back now.

Tim looks up, his steel-colored eyes staring right through me.

"You know, people think this is a thing now." I say, not meeting his gaze.

"Do they" Tim shovels food into his mouth, clearly not upset about this situation we're in.

"Yeah, they do. Why do you keep sitting by me?"

He lifts his eyes, not revealing any emotion. "Why do you care? Let em' talk, Cardin." I swear I see some sort of smirk pass over his face, but it's gone before I can be sure.

I flex my jaw, "First of all, Tim, don't call me Cardin. Second of all, I care because people already talk enough shit about me at this school."

"No one gives a shit about you Cardin, okay? Relax." Tim gets up abruptly, clearly pissed off. He turns to leave then stops, "Maybe you should stop listening to Tyra."

"You asshole" I say, but he's already gone.

People are looking at me now and I feel my cheeks start to burn. Why does this always happen to me? Wasn't sophomore year enough? And since when does Tyra know Tim Riggins? When did I miss that?

I throw my food away, feeling pissed off and defeated. Maybe Tim Riggins doesn't care about his reputation, but I do. Sure, I hate admitting it but it's true. Football players get away with doing whatever they want at this school, but once someone else fucks up it's in issue.

One thing's for sure, Tim Riggins is on my shitlist.