Hide Away

21.

Hes lying across from me, sleeping. I didn't plan on sleeping with him, not yet, not until I figured out  if I wanted a relationship with him or not. I still don't know if I do. 

He looks so peaceful sleeping, he has the blanket pulled down to just under his bellybutton (an: his is so cute don't ask) as he doesn't like big blankets when he's sleeping but he tolerates it for me. I turn over and close my eyes, deciding today's already been a long but very good one, and drift off to sleep.

"You kept us up all night, so we wake you up early." Roger says, banging  tin trays together as zoe, who stayed over last night, bangs two pot lids together followed by freddie, who has a pot and is banging it like a drum. I pull the heavy blanket over my head and John does the same, half pulling me to him, but he doesn't have to try that hard and I climb on top of him and lay my head on his chest.
"Don't pay no heat to them, they'll give up if you don't." He whispers and I nod as he plays with my hair.

They don't leave us alone for half an hour, not until Zoe says she has to go soon. When they leave, John pulls down the blanket and smiles at me and i laugh at him.
"I was nearly sleeping just then." I say to him.
"Through all that?"
"Thats just light stuff you know."
"I'm sorry, love." He says and I lay back down on his chest and he continues playing with my hair. We just lay there not speaking for an hour or so until he speaks up.
"Do you regret last night?" He asks me.
"No, do you?" I say concerned. What if it ruined things?
"Of course not, I was just anxious thinking you did because you stayed up after I went to sleep, normally you sleep first unless somethings on your mind."
"I was just thinking." I say as he rolls us over so hes laying on top of me.
"About what?" He asks me and I know I can't tell him, not yet.
"Not much really, just couldn't sleep so I thought about things, life mostly." I lie to him and i feel bad, I don't lie to him but its a lie of ommision so its not as bad. He lays his head on my chest and pulls the blanket up further, signalling that he wants to sleep again.
"Come on,  you no I can't say no and I'm hungry so get up, love." I say to him, attempting to push him off of me, but he slithers his arms around my waist and holds on to me, giving me no hope of getting away from him, which I don't mind except I really want a cup of tea.
"You two, zoes going in an hour, get up." Roger says, popping his head through the door and leaving. John pulls himself off of me and gets up and gets changed. I do the same, grabbing one of his hoodies as mine are all in the wash basket.

"I'll make you that cuppa." He says as I walk into the living room. I sit beside Freddie on the floor at the coffee table and Roger closes over the door.
"Finally. I was dieing of all that tension in the car. Something had to give." Freddie says.
"You are so over dramatic, there was little to none." I say  unconvincingly.
"Oh please, a moth would catch alight, but please keep it down, we were trying to sleep." Roger says and I roll my eyes at his hypocrisy.
"You two were at it way later than us."
"Come off it, you two went at it again after we were done."
"What? We couldn't sleep." I say as John comes in and hands me my tea, sitting on the sofa beside Roger and zoe.
"Can we have a normal conversation now or  what?" John says, half laughing.

After Zoe leaves, me and John decide to go for a walk. When we leave the building, he grabs my hand, and I don't really know why but he got shy, which never really happened around me, mostly just other people.
"You alright, love?" I ask him, hoping he'll tell me.
"Yeah, just lost in my thoughts."
"Tell me what you're thinking about."
"Just you, really, where you'd be if we didn't leave, you know, I'm glad I left here for a bit, I realised alot about myself." He says and i sense that he doesn't want to talk about that anymore.

We spend a few hours at a park before going home and watching tv for the rest of the day, me and john hogging the sofa to cuddle and freddie taking the armchair leaving roger on the floor.
"Have you two always been so touchy feely?" Freddie asks us out of the blue.
"Not really, I think it started after we left and were in the car everynight for a few weeks." John says.
"You lived in a car?" Freddie says, surprised, I think.
"Yeah, she needed to escape and that was our only option really." He says to him. I'm half asleep as they are talking, barely listening to them as I drift off to sleep on John.

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This is pretty shit I just don't know what to do really also I cannot find good deaky fluff bc im sad and I have read so much that it's boring I NEED NEW STUFF. Guilty pleasures ig
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