Not That Lucky

#33: Dear Diary, It's Me Again

"When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it." -unknown

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Day #06:

The theme song of The Office bounced around the walls of the very small, but very cozy, apartment I was currently squatting in. It was studio style with worn wooden floors and freshly painted walls. The kitchen was nestled in the corner beside a small dining room table that had mismatching chairs. In the corner across from the kitchen the room dipped out to house a double sized bed. The door to the bathroom was beside that.

Right now, I was sitting on an old, off white couch in the middle of the room across from a TV that had been playing The Office non-stop for the past six days. The only times I had moved from this spot were to get up and go to the bathroom. The fact that this is where I slept every night made not having to go anywhere very easy.

"You literally haven't moved an inch since I left."

I glanced over to the door to see Alex stepping in. They had on an oversized white tank top hanging off their torso with a black sports bra showing from underneath and a pair of bright red shorts. Their short blonde hair was slicked back, and they didn't remove their sunglasses to address me.

"That's not true." I shook my head and pointed to the kitchen, "I got up twenty minutes ago to get chips."

Alex shook their head and walked over to the kitchen. I let my eyes drift back to the TV lazily and pulled the hood of the jacket I wore over my head before falling over to lay on my right side. The jarring motion made my shoulder ache, but just barely. My mind zoned out as I watched the colorful lights flicker in front of me. To be honest, I couldn't even tell you what episode was playing right now.

A second later, I felt weight drop down on the couch by my hips. Alex had taken a shower and changed out of their clothes into a baggy beige sweater. I blinked at them in surprise. Hadn't they just gotten back? Was the shower really that quick or was I just losing time again?

"Where is your sling? You're supposed to still have it on." Alex pressed. I curled up tighter into the couch and mumbled my response. They sighed in response, "If you won't wear your sling can you at least consider coming out into the sunlight again? You're looking pasty as hell."

I nodded, "Thanks, Alex. You always know the right thing to say."

Alex rolled their eyes and reached forward to pick up an empty carton of ice cream before tossing it aside again, "Well, someone has to say it."

I forced myself to sit up and buried my face into the hoodie's neckline, "Look, I know you're not used to seeing me like this, and I really appreciate you letting me stay at your place." I sighed. "I just...I think I'm in the middle of some kind of depressive episode or something. I've never had to deal with this before—"

Alex let out a loud laugh that I narrowed my eyes at. When they finally began to calm, swiping away at a tear from their eye, they looked back at me, "Oh, wait, are you serious?"

"I'm spiraling, Alex, maybe show a little more concern?"

"You think you've never had a depressive episode before?" Alex scoffed. "Really? Seriously?" I threw my hands up in defeat and ignored the ache that burned in my shoulder. Alex continued, "Idiot, back before you met the Avengers you were having a depressive episode every other week!"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and for a quick moment the only sound in the room came from the TV. Slowly, I shook my head, "No... I think I'd remember that..."