Not That Lucky

#15: Give Me a Hand

"Anger will help you survive for a while, but it'll eat you alive." –Unknown

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Clint felt like his entire body was vibrating with barely concealed rage. His self-control was really being put to the test at the moment. He was sitting in his usual seat in the Avengers Conference room. Typically, they only met up here for pre- and post-mission reports, general meetings, and anytime someone from SHIELD or the government needed to talk to them. Clint had called everyone here because he needed to sit down. He needed to sit down, and he knew the others would too. His hands were balled up tightly, his arms crossed over his chest, and he kept his gaze focused across the table on Natasha.

He could read everyone in the room with ease.

Natasha was sitting stock still, there was no emotion on her face that gave her away, but the twitch in her finger, where her hand casually rested on the table, told him that she was boiling with internal fury. An inferno that could, and would, burn down the tower if left unchecked. Bruce sat beside her with his elbows on his table and his face in his hands. There had been the briefest flash of green in his eyes when the news was broken and now the scientist was taking calming breaths. To Clint's left, Steve held his jaw in his hand, one elbow on the table, and kept his eyes closed. His face looked a shade lighter, like the blood had drained from it. Sam was here too, sitting in Thor's usual spot. The man had been in the process of leaving when they got the 'Setting Sun' alert, and he decided to stick around to make sure everything was alright. The look on his face though made him feel like the man had partly wished that he hadn't stuck around. Just to spare himself from hearing the news for a moment longer. The regret was mixed with anger. Tony, who sat across from Sam, was always the easiest to read and it was because in moments where his temper was sparked, the man hid nothing from his features.

Tony shoved himself up from the table and stormed to the door. Steve called out, his voice tight, "Tony." He didn't listen, he didn't hesitate, he just shoved the door open and left. Steve clenched his jaw before speaking again, "JARVIS, make sure Pepper knows where he is. He needs her."

"She has already been notified, Captain Rogers."

The room went back to a painful silence. Clint's eyes went out of focus as he thought about the pale, faintly raised lines etched into Aj's skin. Getting injured in a fight sucked. Feeling your skin break open from a hit, the ache of a bruise after a punch, it was terrible. Getting injured purposely, slowly, painfully from a stable, psychotic hand? That was different. There was something horrifying about having someone use a knife to carve into your skin as punishment. Clint knew all too well. He's been in the torture chair before. Staring back at someone who was genuinely enjoying bringing out his blood.

Half of the trauma of being tortured was the psychological aspect of it. Clint knew that Aj could take a hit, that wasn't the point, the thing that really boiled his blood was that this jackass, this piece of shit, scum of the earth, carved into her skin repeatedly and told her she deserved it. That she deserved this form of punishment. That's what made Clint want to bury an arrow in Eugene's eye.

"I felt it yesterday. She was upset, and when I... I knew it had to be scars." Steve let out an angry scoff. His jaw clenched again as he pulled his hand away from his face and stiffened in his seat. Steve shook his head, "But I had no idea it'd be—"

Steve cut himself off with a sharp breath. It was one thing when a superhero or an agent of SHIELD was put through the ringer like this. It was a risk of the profession. They either had experience or training. Regardless, they knew of this potential hazard. Someone like Aj, an innocent woman hurt and desperate to feel something, shouldn't have to undergo something like this. Terrible things happened to good people, Clint knew that, but when he saw it firsthand in someone he cared about it felt like a staggering blow.