Stories Not Quite Scary Enough To Tell In The Dark, But Still Nearly Chilling

Secret Shopper

The man restocking the hot dogs waved at me with an enormous grin. I smiled and looked around. I'd been caught waving to strangers before when they were talking to people standing behind me. Not this time hot dog man! But when I turned I found I was the only person in the isle. Now double embarrassed I looked back and waved, blushing.

"Good to see you" he said.

"You too." I nodded politely and pushed past disappearing past the baking supplies as quickly as possible.

Ten minutes later he passed me again in produce, stopping to redress a distressed display of eggplant. There was the sound of thunder and the lights above the produce flashed as misters came on. I hate soaking wet veggies. Especially leafy greens.You always have to dry them out on the counter when you get home before putting them in the refrigerator or everything turns gooey before you can use it.

"How's your husband?"

I froze, squeezing a tomato a bit too tightly: it burst all over my blouse.

The man, heavy set, over six feet tall laughed and handed me a rag from his cart.

"How's Charles?" He repeated.

Oh! so this was Charles' friend! I graciously accepted the towel, then filled my plastic sack with tomatoes.

"He's fine. He just got a new job at the bakery, so that's exciting!"

The man smiled, took back his rag and moved on to the broccoli.

"Good. Good. I'd love to meet him sometime."

The grape I was sampling lodged itself in my throat and I stood there nodding politely, unable to breath. Hurrying away again I fell forward on the handle of my shopping cart,crossed eyed until my makeshift Heimlich attempts pushed the grape out onto the floor and I felt it squish under the heel of my sneaker.

This was stupid. I was being paranoid.But who was that guy? Thankfully the dairy was on the opposite side of the store and the man stocking the oat-milk was definitely not—did this creep have a copy of my shopping list? He turned as I approached and I swear if I hadn't already been wearing a pad I would have peed down my leg.

"Chocolate for the kids, vanilla for you." he smiled as he handed me exactly what I had come for. His name tag said "Dan."

I don't know how long I stood gaping cross eyed like a halibut, or how long I would have clutched the cartons had there not been another shopper trying to push by to the yogurt and eggs. I forgot about the rest of my list, I had to get out of there. I had to get away from Dan.

I didn't care that my cart was full,with only two lanes to choose from I committed social suicide and lined up in the express lane. The old lady in front of me didn't say anything, but the cashier must have sensed the desperation in my face. I saw her pick up the phone at her register. "Cashier to the front please."

I immediately began piling my ramen noodles onto the conveyor.

"I can help who's next."

I didn't look up, I turned instead for my onions, when I turned back two large hands had palmed my noodles from over the tabloids and absconded with them to the next isle. "Let me check you out over here Mari."

The other cashier nodded. "This is the express isle mam. Dan will be more than happy to check you out."

"Dan already has." I grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Thank you." Defeated, I shuffled over to isle two where Dan waited beaming.

"Did you find everything okay?"

Everything except an exit. "Yes."I nodded.

"It really is great to see you. You always bring a smile to my face."

"Mmmhm." Twenty-seven, twenty-six... I counted down the items left to scan as I readied the bills in my wallet. The steady beep beep beep of the register reminded me of the sound of a heart monitor, only if anyone could hear mine now it would sound more like a smoke alarm. My left eye twitched and the tell tale winkey lights of an eminent migraine flashed in my peripheral vision.

"I'm sorry about your mom Mari."My mom? My mother had lived three states away. Dan had to be an old family acquaintance then. Maybe someone from high school or church.My pulse relaxed. I felt oxygen returning to my brain.

I looked Dan in the face trying to recognize the boy beneath the extra 100 pounds he must have gained since high school.

"My dad passed away last year. I miss him every day.."

I smiled sympathetically. Sharp pain played across my face like lightning as the migraine set in. Five, four, three, two...

"That will be seventy five dollars and twenty seven cents."

I counted the pennies as he bagged my purchases.

"But then, we did everything together. Were you and your mom very close? I mean, did you have a good relationship?"

I dropped my purse, spilling change everywhere. Anyone who knew my family at all would have known that my mother suffered from severe Alzheimer's. I loved my mom, but she had been gone for all intents and purposes for the last five years.

"Keep the change I squealed throwing the bills down on the counter I stuffed two paper sacks in each arm and hauled you know what for my car. Stupid paper sacks, stupid migraine, stupid plastic bag laws. My landfill was fifteen hundred miles away from the nearest coastline and yet I had to contribute to deforestation because some hippie felt bad about drinking out of too many straws.

I threw the bags into my van, slammed the hatch and jumped into the driver's seat. As the car roared to life I screamed: Dan was standing at my window.

"You forgot one." He smiled , holding up an orphaned paper sack.

I rolled down the window just enough to squeeze the sack through.

"Oh, hey,congratulations by the way!"

"Congratulations?"

"On the baby!"

The baby? Pain hammered at my temples as the migraine enveloped my head.

I had only found out myself this morning. No one knew about the baby. I hadn't even told my husband about the baby!

Dan chuckled and held up the pregnancy test I'd placed in my shopping cart earlier. "You dropped this too. People only buy the expensive ones to double check." He winked. "It's our little secret."

I threw the lever into gear and left Dan in a blue cloud of tire smoke, not caring about any pedestrians that might be in the way. As I spit gravel in all directions I saw Dan in the rear view mirror waving my pregnancy test above his head.

 "Don't worry! I'll bring it by later! Say hi to the kids!"