The Adventures Of No One

(1) Fine Line

"Do you really believe that you're going to find your soulmate by the end of the school year?" I push my glasses further onto my nose, positioning the black frame comfortably below my eyes.

"I have to, Lydia. There is simply no way around it." Logan narrows her eyes toward me as if finding your soulmate is oh-so serious.

"We're barely even juniors, Logan. You have your whole entire life before finding a soulmate." My backpack is heavy on my shoulders as we approach the counter for Mrs. Forbes to check out our books. As we walk outside to Logan's car she continues on her little tangent about soulmates.

"But seriously, you don't understand. I see my parents and they're so hopelessly head-over-heels in love. I crave that kind of love so badly." Logan exclaims. "Why else would I be so interested in these cheesy romance novels?!"

"You're right. I wouldn't get it because I haven't seen my parents together since I was five." I put my backpack in her backseat and she stops in her tracks.

"Lydia, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to-" I cut her off before she starts stuttering out an irrelevant apology. "It's really no big deal. Can you take me home now?" I buckle the seatbelt around my body and look out the window. Logan starts the car and we pull onto the highway in an awkward silence.

"I promise I wasn't thinking about what I said when I said it. I really am so sorry." Logan tries to apologize once more and I just nod, not really wanting to speak on the situation. I know that I shouldn't be upset at her. I mean that was almost twelve years ago so it's not like it is a fresh wound. It's just always been hard on me not having a mom. As it is for anyone. I've never understood how a mom could go through the nine months of pregnancy and bonding and supposed love to just abandon their child after birth, whether it be immediately after or five years later.

"Thanks for bringing me home and taking me to the library. I appreciate it." I grab my backpack out of her backseat and close the car door before she tries to apologize again. I notice the mailbox is open as I walk up the steps to the front porch. A few pieces of mail dangle out of the edge. I grab them all and unlock my front door revealing my dad sitting on the couch surrounded by files and documents.

My dad works as an actuary. You know, the people who conducts statistical research and determines risk and possibilities for businesses and their economic costs. It looks and sounds super complicated but my dad is a major nerd so he loves his job. I'm happy for him but he does invest a lot of his time in his career. I can't blame him. I'm sure it is hard to raise a teenage girl alone and be single on top of it all. I feel so guilty about my mom leaving him. He deserves the world.

"Oh hey, honey. You startled me!" I didn't realize I was staring at him until he acknowledged my presence. I guess I got lost in thought. I walk over to the couch and slide him the mail. "Thanks. Did you have a good time with Logan at the library?"

"Yeah, it was fun." The lie spills out of my mouth unwillingly. I just can't bring myself to let him know how I feel. He always has so much on his plate and I'm certain he's just as sad about mom leaving as me and I don't want to interrupt his work complaining about Logan's lack of empathy. He nods at me while tapping his pen against his notepad. I make my way into the kitchen and grab some hamburger meat from the fridge. Dad must've been too busy to remember it's spaghetti night. Our favorite food. I season and cook the meat before draining it and putting it into the noodles and sauce. I pour some onto two plates for dad and I.

"Here ya go," I go back to the living room and hand him the plate. His face contorts in realizations.

"Lydia, I'm so sorry! I forgot about dinner. I've just been drowning in paperwork. This new law firm opened up in the city and they chose me to run some numbers and figure up the costs for their clients and such." He shoves a forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. I plop down on the couch adjacent from him, slurping some spaghetti as he continues to speak.