Sunshine (Student/Teacher Romance) 18+

30

Ari

"Just a few more months, Ari," I tell myself as I drag a soapy sponge over the bathroom tile floor. My vision is blurred by my wet eyes as I grit my teeth and scrub angrily.

The house smells both sour and stale, even though I've been cleaning all morning. Not even straight bleach could get rid of the stench.

I wanted it all gone.

The smoke, the ash. The dust and the grime.

Thomas and Diana.

Four months couldn't come any quicker.

"You're so good to me, Ari." Diana reached out for my hair and ran her fingers against my curls. "You're so sweet, and smart, and I hope you know how much joy you've brought to my life."

I stared at her, taking in those words as she pulled me toward her and let me lay my head on her.

I could hear the wheeze in her chest with my ear against her skin, but ignored it as I usually did. I shut my eyes and let her brush her hand over my back.

"The day I got the call about you, Ari...it was both the best and worst day of my life. The worst because my nephew failed you. He'd failed you just like my sister failed him, and our mother failed us. Unfortunately, he couldn't end that cycle and I saw you as an opportunity to try."

I clutched her tighter, feeling her return the feeling. Holding me in a way that was rare.

In a way I'd craved for as long as I could remember.

And sometimes nights like that were possible. Sometimes she could stay sober enough to speak truth. To sound sane, to apologize. To love.

But it never lasted.

"I'd have died so long ago if you weren't here, sweetheart. And it's not fair because while you were saving me, taking care of me, I was only putting you in harms way. I mean, I look at you...and I realize, I've failed too. Not just you, but myself. I tried hard for you, Ari. I tried so hard, and I just hope that you don't fall through the cracks like the rest of us did. Please."

I finally toss the sponge and sit back against the wall, Diana's snores taunting me as I wipe my damp cheeks with the back of my hand.

In the middle of a deep, exhausted breath, my alarm blares and makes me jump out of my skin.

Not like I haven't gone to school before with no sleep, but the older I get the harder it is to do.

I sit against the tile for a moment longer, seriously considering just ditching for the day.

I'd love to.

To not have to deal with Kaliyah.

To not have to walk around Maya like strangers, when just a month ago we were best friends.

To not have to stare at my teacher and feel my chest tighter like my heart is held firm in his big fists. Because it is.

I blow out a breath and haul myself to my room to get dressed and do it anyway. Because as much as I'd love to avoid it all, I'd rather deal with that than be here, holding back Diana's hair and fighting her away from the liquor even after she'd been puking her brains out.

School was a blur.

Even Abel's class. I practically slept with my eyes open up until lunch time.

I caught him looking at me during notes, and a couple other times during independent work. He'd sat at his desk and eyed me over with question and concern, but didn't dare to speak to me.