C̤̈ḧ̤ä̤n̤̈g̤̈ï̤n̤̈g̤̈ p̤̈ë̤r̤̈s̤̈p̤̈ë̤c̤̈ẗ̤ï̤v̤̈ë̤s̤̈~D̤̈r̤̈ä̤r̤̈r̤̈ÿ̤

Chapter 2~

Harry sat in his first-class barely paying attention, he felt tired mainly because he didn't sleep last night and all he wanted to do was flop down on his pillow but here he was, in-class learning spells, Spells he already knew, so he lowered his head, diving into his thoughts, and how he just wanted to be done but somehow he thought coming back was a good idea, but all it did was make him want to wither away from the world, this place was a constant reminder of his faults, his inability to save everyone, it haunted him.

Lunch came quickly and Harry just went to the library and ate by himself, He felt alone but he made due until he saw his friends try and approach him, "Harry!" They both yelled in unison,

"Hey, Guys." Harry lightly smiled, Ron and Hermione both sat across from him, they looked worried, Harry hated it,

"We haven't spoken since we've been back, Are you okay?" Hermoine asked, Harry shrugged as he scratched the back of his head,

"Just been busy," He explained but neither one looked like they bought it, "I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to say,"

"How about 'How are you? Or 'Sorry I've been ignoring you all summer?'." Ron eyed him, "That for starters,"

"I'm sorry guys, I just wanted to be alone, alone with my thoughts, after everything," Harry looked down, "And plus you guys seemed happy without me, I didn't want to ruin the mood."

"Harry, That's nonsense, we are here for you, don't push us away, we would have been happier if you came to us." Hermione smiled, Harry nodded, he didn't know what else to say,

"And what happened with you and Ginny? She said you also stopped seeing her," Ron asked, Harry frowned,

"I just couldn't see her, Not after the war, It changed things, I apologized to her," Harry whispered, Ron sighed,

"Understandable, Are you okay, Harry? You still didn't answer me," Hermione worried,

"Yes, 'Mione, I'm fine, Don't worry." Harry smiled, They both nodded as they ate their lunch.

Harry hated how he didn't know how to talk to his friends, he knew they cared but he felt like he needed to go through this war in his head alone, He didn't want to be a burden to anyone, he could deal with the thoughts by himself.

~

"Why, If it isn't Perfect Potter again," Harry turned to see Malfoy looking down on him, Harry shook his head, Harry was now back at the library after classes,

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked as Malfoy shrugged as he went to sit across from him,

"Just to see what you are doing, Where are your friends? Alone again?" Malfoy asked and when Harry looked at him he could swear that he could see some worry spread across his face,

"I'm doing nothing, and my friends are probably busy being a couple somewhere," Harry rolled his eyes, Opening a book he picked up to read,

"And you're not with Weaslette?" Malfoy asked, Harry shook his head, "Wow, Who would've thought perfect Potter would be spending his eighth year alone?"

"Did you just come here to mock me?" Harry eyed him, "And I would appreciate it if you stopped calling me 'perfect Potter.' it's irritating and untrue."

"Isn't it though? You saved the world, now you can get any job you want, you had a pampered life, very privileged," Malfoy rolled his eyes and Harry found himself clenching his fists,

"Do you call being locked in a cupboard all your life only being let out to clean and cook being pampered? Do you call being called a freak by two people who are supposed to be your family being pampered? Is that what pampered means? Then yes, I guess I was the most pampered child, Way to go neglection for being equal to being pampered," Harry made no eye contact with Malfoy as he took a deep breath, "I am tired of people thinking I'm this great guy who has everything, Because I never was, I never got the chance to be a kid, even when I came here and thought I'd finally be happy I had to beat death and save everyone, Do you honestly think I enjoy being famous? Because I would trade everything for nobody to know my name."

Harry felt tears trickling down his face, He didn't know why he burst all that out, but he knew Malfoy would not stop if he didn't, "There, Now you know, Please don't treat me differently, contrary to what you might think, I only told you so you can bloody well stop calling me that stupid nickname because I honestly can't stand it, But I do appreciate you treating me as if nothing changed at least that's some normalcy, I ought to be going now," Harry got up and walked as fast as he could out of the library.

~

What was he thinking? Saying all that to Malfoy who couldn't care less about him? He just gave him blackmail he could use against him and tell the whole wizard world his problems, but at the same time it felt good to say it all out loud, he had to trust that even Malfoy had a heart not to spill his secrets, He kept everything he said to Malfoy to himself for years, Ron knew to an extent but not everything.

He knew he and Malfoy have never truly gotten along but he liked to think that had somehow changed after the war, sure he still called him potter and did tease him a bit but it wasn't that bad and if he was being honest, he liked it aside from the 'perfect Potter' statement, He would feel really weird if that changed, he knew the war hasn't been easy on Malfoy either, he forced into being a death eater but chose the right side in the end, it couldn't have been easy being forced to a side just for approval, And the aftermath was that all of Malfoy's friends stopped talking to him, Harry noticed people calling him names in class but stayed silent, Harry wanted to say something but him and Malfoy weren't close for him to openly do so.