Keep Running

Chapter 18 - Dano

I lie on the motel bed, panting, sweaty and aching in horrible ways from my fall from the train, and in enjoyable ways from the sex. Eric is next to me, equally exhausted and reevaluating most of his life choices. Neither of us have bothered to get dressed, and we're both just staring at the ceiling. I'm just being sweaty and tired and enjoying the lingering pleasure from both of our brains now trapped fully in mine.
"You're really--," he was going to say good, but he thought that sounded stupid but he also feels like he needs to express something right now. His brain is bubbling over in euphoria he didn't think was possible and I'm soaking in every moment of it. I tip my face against his head to drink it in.
"Yeah I know," I say, closing my eyes, "Feels like a first time huh?"
"Well it was my first time---with a man," he says really uncomfortable how much he enjoyed himself. "Thank you for not saying you know."
"You're welcome," I say, still breathing heavily. My rib does hurt like it's cracked damn. I wish I wasn't so sore right now; damn I'm getting old.
"What was your----can I ask you—,"
"You can ask me anything. That's the rule; you can ask what ever you want since, I know whatever I want, didn't I tell you that rule before?" I ask, I feel like I did. I tell it to everyone.
"You did. When I first met you---at the lab. I was too busy being afraid of you to think about it," he says, remembering now, "Mel was with you back then."
"Yeah, I remember," I remember it all, "Go on ask your question."
"You know what it was," he finally gets the mind thing.
"What was my first time? It was with a girl," I say, "If that's what you meant?"
"I don't know what I meant."
"They took me to this club—because they thought some illegal gambling thing was going on. I was nineteen and they actually left 29 because they thought I'd be good. Anyway, the Rough Riders all spread out and they're not paying a ton of attention to me and I started swiping drinks. About an hour, hour and a half later I'm not at all sober. This girl---kid, she was as toasted as I was, neither one of us drinking age see—she'd sneaked with friends. She comes on to me. I evade the Rough Riders; it's not hard they were too busy thinking I was gonna try to escape. The girl and I, we slip off to the bathroom, the woman's room, and start kissing against the door. and---she just----she didn't know what I was. She started kissing me because she thought I had pretty eyes and she and I were both really drunk and it looked like fun. And it was. And I'd—I'd never felt anyone's mind that happy before—certainly not with me. And me kissing her, was making her happy. When I put my hands on her neck. On her breasts, it was like her whole mind glowed. Of course I was enjoying it, but so was she, so much, she thought I was pretty. And she felt dangerous and fun and safe kissing me while she sat on the counter of the bathroom and I took off her clothes, in a public bathroom, but all she felt was me, and how happy I made her," I almost smile at the memory of that first warm glowing mind practically wrapped around mine as we embraced, both of us, experiencing nothing but pure ecstasy as we held each other. I'd never felt such joy before, and I could provide it for her, her happiness soaked us both. I knew just how to hold her, what to do, all from her own mind. And all she kept thinking was that she didn't know it was going to be this wonderful.
"That's nice," Eric says.
"Not really. Of course everyone found us. And they tased me, didn't let me put my clothes on, she was wearing this little like—dress, and skirt, thing but her panties were on the floor at that point, all she had on was her bra, and suddenly the Rough Riders burst in and they're tasing me and cuffing me and putting a muzzle on this nice boy she was fucking two minutes ago. And she's naked and trying to get dressed and crying and remember we're both extremely hammered so I'm begging them to just let her go and they're not, they're questioning her, and all sorts of shit," I say, bitterly. She was so scared. From so happy and blissful to so scared. They didn't let her put her fucking clothes on before they were asking her what was going on and I was being tased and they were badgering her who was she how long was she alone with me did I hurt her, since they just assumed I was raping her, and she was freaking out because she was underage and just wanted to have some fun and now cops were questioning her.
"Do you know what happened to her?"
"Yes. They hauled her off to a police station, fined her for being drunk, questioned her for hours about what happened. They made her do a full rape kit, gave her the Plan B, called her parents to come pick her up, she got charged for even being in the club. They told her I was extremely dangerous. Meanwhile, they put me on the table for a twenty five minutes, then solitary for a few days in a straight jacket," I sigh. 29 was cross with me. He told me it was idiotic. I got mad then, told him he didn't know what it was like. I cried. He didn't. He said someday I needed to stop doing stupid things or I'd wind up dead. Maeve actually felt a bit sorry for me. She told them maybe if I got to meet other mutants or something I might not do such things and that it was only natural I'd feel sexual attraction.
"That's terrible, I'm sorry, poor thing," Eric sighs. He's never had sex in a public place, but even so. The poor kid was drunk and thought she was having fun with a guy her own age.
"Yeah, not a monster," I say, tiredly.
"I didn't say you were a monster."
"Well," you think it often enough. Not now though. Now he's full of the pulsing idea he wants me again he wants his mouth on mine and everything to stop mattering.
"What happened after?" He asks, quietly, a hand reaching to lie on my bruised chest.
"Maeve suggested they arrange for sexual partners for me as I was understandably a young man with urges. A bunch of brilliant people came up with the idea to castrate me," I say, "They found out really quickly that I don't take well to people coming at me with needles. They couldn't put me out. I didn't eat for three weeks because they were putting stuff in my food."
"That's really bad. I did not expect the question to go this way. I'm sorry. You're free to talk about something else."
"No it's all right. It doesn't matter. Anyway, they quit once Meave found some legal precedent that they couldn't do that. Makes losing your virginity on your wedding night feel very nice now doesn't it?" I ask, tipping my face to look at him
"That---yeah," he sighs, "This day has been so goddman weird. Does this make me bi now?"
"It doesn't have to make you anything," I say, stroking his hair because he likes it and he felt alone and wanted to be touched, "You don't have to be anything."
"Good," He says, closing his eyes and enjoying my fingers on his skin.
"Go to sleep," I say, nestling my face against his shoulder, "Just go to sleep now, we'll worry about everything in the morning."
"That's what my dad used to say when I was having anxiety and he'd put me to bed for the tenth time-----I guess you know that."
"My dad used to say 'don't be such an idiot all the time Dano'," I say, making him laugh.
"I feel like I have to apologize for your whole life," he laughs, even though it isn't really funny he can't do anything but laugh now.
"You don't. You just have to be glad you're here. I'm glad you're here right now. Tonight is what matters for us, it doesn't even have to be real tomorrow."
"I may feel more comfortable with that. But I'm glad it happened."
"Good. And on the days you aren't, remember not what you did but how it made you feel. Because happiness isn't wrong," I say, continuing to stroke his hair. He's passing out he's so tired.
"It shouldn't be should it?"
"No. Shh, I'm gonna be right here, handler," I say.
"Eric."
"Eric."