And Then There Was You (Chris Evans AU)

August: Back At It

   "Can I at least come by and bring you a plate? Mom made salmon, just the way you like it."

   Daphne's concern for my well-being will always be one of the things I love most about her. "I'd like that. He mentioned that he was leaving in an hour, so maybe after that?"  I've also learned he's not a fan of people just dropping by.

   "See ya then. I love you."

   "Love you too babe." I hang up the phone and head back towards the garage. Along the way I spot Hayden leaning up against the wall.

   His arms are crossed over his chest. "This is bull, Chris," he shakes his head slowly.

   "It's just the first month. It'll get better once everyone is use to the way he wants things," I assure him.

   "Your eternal optimism is nauseating."

   I shrug my shoulders. "Look hard enough and you'll find something wrong in everything. Stop looking so hard, man."

   "Sounds similar to what Charlotte has been telling me."

   "Well, at least she's got some smarts to her," I say quickly with a laugh just before feeling a punch in my bicep.

~~~~~
Daphne POV

I walk back into my parent's home. There's laughter over some joke that Sarah shared with the group, but all eyes turn to me as I come back into the kitchen.

   My dad sees the disappointment across my face even though I attempt to cover it up with a smile, like usual. I take my seat again, next to him. "You okay, sweetheart?"

   "He's not coming is he?" James questions. "Again?"

   Chris has missed all of the family dinners during the month of August. I slowly and quietly shake my head from side to side.

   "Unbelievable," James scoffs.

   Dad isn't going to stand for his son with this behavior, no matter his age. "Knock it off, James. This isn't his choice." He reminds everyone at the table. "If Chris could be here, he would. I have no doubts in that."

    James doesn't let up. "If he wants to be here then he should say something to his boss."

   "That's not how it works and you know it!" I'm getting angry now. I'm no longer just angry over the situation but with my brother who is acting out of character. "You should keep your mouth shut about things you know nothing about." I scoot my chair back, picking up the plate I had fixed for Chris. "Now, if you will all excuse me I have the opportunity to see my husband for longer than a kiss goodbye. I'll see you all next week."

    I grab my purse, slide on my sandals and head for my car. As I open the car door I hear footsteps rushing to catch me. James pulls my hand back, making me face him. "I'm sorry."

   "This isn't easy for me! And you, well you just planted a bug in my ear talking about if Chris wanted to be with me then he would. Do you have any idea what that small statement can do to my psyche?" I push against his chest. He may be my brother. He may be taller than me but I will fight him just like when we were kids. "Be glad that you have set hours to work every day. Be happy that you can go home to your family for dinner every single night. Stop and think about the fact that Rene can feel you in bed next to her every day." I shove him again for emphasis. He stands there and takes it, knowing he's in the wrong. "Be thankful you don't have to even think of your loved one running into a burning building just to make sure someone else's family remains whole that day. Be thankful that your family is put first, before mine."

   And with that I climb into the car and leave. I hadn't quite realized what this change had been doing to me, until now. The fears that I'd been able to keep at bay suddenly boiled over.

I steer the car into the neighborhood clubhouse, stopping in order to unleash the rest of my emotions safely. Sitting in the small confines of my car I scream. I yell. I cry out in both frustration and anger.

While Chris was just on the medic side I never felt this way. The shift work never bothered me. I never feared as to whether he'd return home at the end of his day. But now? Now, that's all I think about.

School has been back in session for the last three weeks and I've gotten maybe four hours of sleep a night. Even when he's laying beside me I can't rest. My brain doesn't shut off. My dreams have become fixated on the well being of my husband and our future. I know I need help overcoming this, but I don't want to put my burdens on anyone else. In the grand scheme of life, this is minor; a blip compared to what others are enduring.

As I'm resting my forehead on the steering wheel my phone alerts me to a text.

Chris- he just left for the night.

Me- okay. I'm just finishing up and I'll be on my way.

Chris- I can't wait to hold you. Be careful. I love you.

Me- I love you more.