Deafening Silence

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Deafening Silence - Chapter 2

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During the daytime, I would be allowed out of my rooms to eat, receive medicine, and to walk in the well looked after garden. Though many would just mindlessly walk the on the veranda, thinking and talking to themselves. We would all behave. Because we knew that they take the strongest for 'testing'. I would keep quiet, I would be mute, silent and therefore unseen. No one I knew within these walls have ever seen or heard me mutter even the simplest word. The demons in my mind telling me to be strong, silent and therefore deadly, their voices and commands much stronger and much harder to deny when I haven't taken my medicine.

Medicine.

Those blue, white, green and yellow pills I'm forced to sallow down every day twice a day. Those pills were to stop me 'hallucinating' the voices and images I saw. But is one tiny little pill going to stop the voices forever? No. The voices are always going to be with me. And even if that means that I have to go from being depressed to the extreme of suicidal thoughts I would make sure the voices would stay with me. Because the voices I hear is the only thing that has ever been a constant in my life.

There are times I take those little coloured pills and demons leave and I'm free, my head clear and for one of the few times in my life I'm not contradicting myself. But not long after, I a suddenly breakdown and slowly the voices return. I just want to free from it all, I want to be able to not live in fear of the hallways, the walls, the doctors and most myself. Because even I I'm starting to believe I'm not normal. Because how times of hearing the words that you're not normal and that you need fixing does it take until you begin to believe it?

So it makes sense that in the third year in the third month of the third week on the 13th full moon I've seen since being stuck here in the haunted hallways and walls, that the demons in my head stop.... And so do my heart. But I wasn't afraid, in fact I welcomed the cloud that came to towards for I knew that I was now free.