My (fake) Wedding

CONFESSIONS WITH COFFEE

She wouldn't let him fool her once again. She wouldn't leave her heart vulnerable to his actions. She had trusted him completely and look where it had brought them. She resolved to end this relationship once and for all. No more heartache.

He smirked, and she turned away from him entirely, busying herself with unloading the dishes. She needed to have something to do, or she would start screaming.

S: "What can I do to make up for it?"

She would not be bribed in any way, shape, or form.

A: "See, this is your problem! Not just you - the entire Male clan has it. You think that, no matter what you do, you can make up for it later. Has any one of you tried not doing all the things you do, then need to make up for?"

He was silent, and she hoped desperately that he would just leave, please for the sake of God. He did not.

"I'd like to try earning your forgiveness nonetheless," he sounded indomitable.

Like hell you are. But in spite of herself, Annika was surprised. She had never suspected Shivaay Singh Oberoi had such deep reservoirs of humility. She considered him for a moment. There was one thing that tormented her more than others; one truth she could only hear from him.

He was watching her face keenly and saw the moment she began to relent. He wondered about the price for her amnesty. There was nothing he expected less than what came out of her mouth.

"You want my forgiveness? Fine." She closed the drawer with a bang and faced him, a hand on her hip. "I want you to tell me the truth about your feelings. You said that it was real. What was real? Did you love me?"

He took a deep breath. His lungs were about as efficient as if they were balloons poked full of holes.

Annika watched his eyes widen, noticed his quick intake of breath, the way his jaw clenched. She expected him to refuse, to snap at her.

"Fine, but I'm making coffee, and we are having this conversation." was all he said.

Grudgingly, she stepped aside. He took the mug from her and reached for the carafe of the energizing liquid. Settling on the sofa once again Shivaay said "What do you expect me to say, Annika?"

"Yes or No - it's very simple! You love me or not." She hears herself sounding erratic but really, she would be much more herself if he just answered the goddamn question.

"Nothing is simple with us, Annika!" Shivaay pushes away from the sofa and throws his arms in the air, "From the beginning nothing ever has been, and nothing ever will be simple. It will always be complicated, and difficult, and, and twisted."

"How is this difficult?" she refuses to be intimidated by his outburst so she fires back with her own, takes a few gulps of her coffee, "It is a yes or no question."

"No it's not!" he spins to face her and he looks hurt and more human than she could ever remember him looking. "Because you're not asking if I love you, you're asking if I will love you forever, Which I will. And you're asking if things have to change. And they do, because I can't let you know that I love you and then carry on like it means nothing. It means everything. It means I am in it for the long haul, for the tears and for the smiles, for the rains and for the draught, for the problems and for the joys, for the life and for the afterlife. You don't trust me. So what you're really asking me is if you have to walk away, because you can't be friends with someone who is madly in love with you, and will always be, because all the lies are too complicated and difficult and twisted. And I can't answer that because I can't lose you in any way you will allow me, be it a friend or a lover I don't care." He is struggling to breathe and his voice breaks.