⇾ 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐈

𝚇𝚇

"Daddy was really worried about you, Mummy," he said. "Why was he so worried? Are you gonna die?"

My eyes went wide. "Am I what?" I asked. "No, Julian, I'm not gonna die," I said, my hands shaking as the words caused me so much shock. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Daddy told Uncle Ringo that he thought you were gonna die." Tears welled up in Julian's eyes and there was an uncomfortable jolt in my stomach. My hands scrambled to pull him close to me again when he began to sniffle.

"Well, I'm not gonna die," I responded. "I'm just alright. Dunno what Daddy thought was so bad."

Understatement of the bloody millennium.

I carefully lifted Julian off the ground as I stood up, glancing at John as I turned in a circle and started towards the front door. I saw Ringo and Maureen standing on the porch looking at us. They could probably see in my eyes how much I wanted to shout at John right now, or how much I wanted to tackle him to the bloody ground.

A pretty pathetic sob fell from Julian's grasp as his little arms wrapped around my neck, squeezing so tight that it was almost uncomfortable, and I carried him towards the nearest sitting room so that I could curl up with him on the couch. I knew how to help him when he was upset. He was just like his damned father—such a cuddler. All he wanted when he was upset was to be held, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

As I heard my son cry over the idea of me bloody dying, I began to hate myself even more. I was always so keen on making him happy...and the fact that I'd upset him so much made me feel awful. My tears welled up in my eyes and I wrapped my arms around him a little more, perhaps needing to be held myself.

Another person joined us in the room—John. He sat down next to me, putting his arms around both me and Julian, and it was just the amount of love that I needed to feel better. I leaned my head against him as I cried, and Julian cried, and hell, maybe John cried too. We were all going through shite right now, and we needed each other. We all needed to be together because this was a bloody family matter, and that's what we were.

Family.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

Julian enjoyed some chicken tenders and mashed potatoes while talking to Paul and John as I quietly ate my own across the table, lost in my own thoughts. In fact, I was so lost in thought, that I was startled when John uttered my name—or rather, shouted my name.

"Hm?" I asked. "What's happening?" I looked up to see John, Julian, and Paul all staring at me, and I blushed.

"Was askin' about how yer likin' that food," Paul said. "Doesn't seem like you're eating much of it."

"Guess I'm just not hungry," I responded vaguely, and it wasn't really true. I was hungry. It just didn't feel like I had the bloody strength to eat. I didn't want to eat even though I needed to eat. The idea of food even being in my mouth made me queasy, so I pushed my plate forward a few inches in disappointment.

"I'm tired," Julian said when there was a pause between all of us.

"I'll take you upstairs," Paul offered, seeming like he wanted an excuse to get away from this table. John was staring at me so intensely that I wondered if he had even heard his son speak at all.

"Only if you'll read the doggy story, Uncle Paw."

Paul smiled. "I would love to read the doggy story," he answered with a smile, standing up. Once he had removed Julian from his booster seat and left the room, John began to speak.