Musings In B Minor

MY FRUSTRATION

How frustrating is it to be me?
Brown skin, nappy hair
Big brown eyes, thick thighs
The smile on my face...

Careful attention to the way I speak

How frustrating is it to be me?
Walking talking
Always mindful of how I'm perceived

How frustrating is it to be me?
Not sure if the way I say
An s, a z, a the, a cha, a we.
If it's good enough
Why am I always being judged by someone else's standards
When my standard says, I am enough?
Why must I change who I am to accommodate the feelings of someone else
When nobody seems to think that my feelings are enough

How frustrating is it to be me?

The way I walk
The way I talk
The sway of my hips
The things that I thought
The things that I believe
The way that I breathe
The fire and desire and the passion that's inside of me

That's me
Intrinsically
Organically
ME...

But, how frustrating can that be?

You see
I walk down the street
And I see...
You and you and you
Taking what my brothers and sisters
My ancestors
My very essence of who I am
You take and take and take
And you clone it
And then you spin it
And as always, you render out what you want
And cast the rest to the wayside
And then you tell me
"Oh, you're too much of who you are.
But if I represent you,
I'm just enough of what you should be."

How frustrating is it to be me?

It is absolutely ridiculous that I cannot represent myself.
I have to walk a mile in your shoes in order for anybody to see ME!

How in the world is that even possible?

This big butt
These big thighs
These big hips
The weight of my vibes
My highs
My lows
My ins
My outs

There is no way you can miss me
There is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever
That you...
If you open your eyes
Open your ears
Breathe in the aroma
Listen to the way I sing
The way I flow
The things that trickle out of my mind
Out of my heart
Out of the very essence
The underbelly of who I am
You would see
That there is a fortified mountain rooted inside of me.

How frustrating is it to be me?

When I'm told
That I'm too much of me
I'm told
That I'm not enough of me
I'm told
That me is too...
Too right or too wrong
Too short or too tall
Too big
Too wide
Too slim
I'm too... too

...SOMETHING
Why?

Because if I'm being me
And I gain the accolades
And if I go to the top of the highest peak
And everybody screams and calls out my name
It's frustrating for you

Because you don't gain anything
If I'm being me

See...
What you want me to be
You want me to be a watered-down version of myself
You want me
To give you all of me
You want me
To fall in line...
Lock Step
With what you say, do, think, and believe
Because you think
That you know
Who I am
Better than I do

How the hell is that even possible?

How frustrating is it to be meee?

Why won't you just let me be
Why can't I just be me?
Can I be me?
Is that alright with you?
And if it ain't alright...
Who gives a damn?
I'm not trying to be you
I'm trying to be me