Lost & Found

Fear

The though of death never bothered me,
Losing myself in the dark abyss surrounded by only myself.
The thought of a convict taking my soul couldn't scare me either,
He can take only what I choose.
I have anxiety,
Crowds force the air from my lungs and my throat to collapse.
But I do not fear the people that flank my sides,
Nor do I fear being lost in the world,
Or even losing pieces that's torn.

What do I fear?

I fear my mother losing the battle.
I fear her defeat in the world.
Her choice to end the pain further proves my worry,
Leaving me alone to feel sorry.
I fear having no longer a friend to trust,
Once I'm alone there would no longer be an 'us.'
Walking aimlessly across the earth and under the skies,
Soon will come her demise.

****

The thought of losing her crosses my mind from time to time,
Ask her a question and her response is always, "I'm fine."
The masses that cover her body,
Cancer is a disease wanted by nobody.

She's constantly fighting,
But it's a losing battle and the war is not yet over.
Her fix was dust and energy,
A lethal mix of death and speed.

My love does what he can,
But he could never take away the pain.
He couldn't take my worry and throw it away,
But he's there when I feel as though I couldn't take another day.

So I'll walk aimlessly around,
Thinking one day she will be found.
Until then I walk with a facade,
And find a moment in time to fade away.