✧✯『 ¿ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛꜱ? 』✧✯

【7】

" So What You Want to Talk About, Mr. Asean? " 

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Martial and Russia we're looking around Phil's room where he's always at when he's sad, books we're scattered on the floor, there we're few bloodstains on the floor and walls, some bandages covered and blood, then a blood knife on the table, Martial was looking in Phil's bookshelf while Russia is on the desk, apparently they found his diary.

Martial flip the first page, the things Phil written on it first was about his daily life. at first they thought it's not that bad but actually, every time they flip a page. It was getting worse and worse, they we're horrified at what they read. Martial was clenching his fists and blames his self for not paying attention on his brother. His little Brother.

𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔:

They Hate Me.

They Don't Care About Me.

I Hate myself.

I keep telling everyone to 'not to give up' but I, Myself is giving up on life.

I want to be forgotten, what's so good in being Remembered?

I want.... the old memories back... but. "𝓜𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓻𝓮 𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓻, 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓪𝓷 𝓛𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴. 𝓑𝓾𝓽 𝓝𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓖𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴. " (Memories Are Like Calendar, You Can Look Back But Never Go Back.)

What am i even doing to myself? I just keep cutting my arms.

If I Die..... Will they care about me? 

Miss me? 

That Doesn't Matter, Does it?

ł̸̡̛̜̥̮̻͓̱̀̀͊̎ͅ ̸̨̲̤̤̩͚̭̭͍̇̄͒̔̐͝ͅ₩̷̙̼͉̗̮͝₳̷̢̗̟͚͓̎͆̋͂̈₦̵͚̦̍̈́̌̽͑̍̋̚͠₮̴̺͊̆͊̕ͅ ̸̯̩̣͔͆́͛̍͛̊͂͗̊₮̷̖̮̖̱̦̅͗͝Ø̴̟͘ ̴̢̛͇̹͐̈́̔̓̇́͑͊͆₣̸̢̛̳̘̃͊́̌̾̅͛̀Ø̴͖̪̩̪̞̉Ɽ̶̟̐̓₲̶̬͎̎͛̃͠Ɇ̷̡̘͈̻̞͈̘̬̪͑͊̓̌̔͑̓͆̎͝₮̸̧̗̳̺͎̼̩̣̌̐̉͆̕͜͝ͅ ̶̟̰̯͚̣͎̂̑̿͋͂̀́̽͂ͅ₳̸̡̗̱͎̝̰̠̀̍̒̄͗̃͠฿̶̧̫̥̰͓̑̔͗̒̀Ø̷͇͒̆Ʉ̴̢͔̣̈́͐₮̵̡̖̞͕̼̭̻̽̓̇͒͒̅̾̌̚̚ ̴̦̯̋̾̽͗̚͠Ɇ̷̫͖̥̥̼͍̣̹̎͑V̶̢̧̞̭̪̜͛̒͆̈͑͝Ɇ̸̤̞̟̪́̃̒̈́̌͂̏ͅɎ̸̟͔̠̩̹̥̦͇̗̒̇₮̷̛͓̣͕͉̫͛̐͗̾̆Ⱨ̵̻̬̞̮̭̉̒̓͠ł̷̧̛̦͎̯̯̞̼̅͆̾̋̾̈̉͊₦̸̧͖̣̜̱̮̬̓̿͑̌̈́̏͑₲̷̘̪̈́͛͝,̸̦͋̍͊̏͝ ̶̡̢̙̮͕̮̈̆̌͑̂̚͜͝₳̸̨͖̪̲̜̖͓̦͓͇͗̆̑̀̋́̕฿̸̯̼̉͆̈́̆̅̌̈́̚Ø̴̨̪̖̋̓̇̾̀̋Ʉ̷̡̜͔͕̹̫̔̓͂̎̓͜͝͠₮̶̥̹̻̰͈̊̿͊̋̀ͅ ̷̬̠̟̰͙̹͙̜̂̐̐́͜͝͝͠Ɇ̵̨̨̛͍͔̙̜̇͊̾ͅV̵̻̳̞͍͒͋̎͒Ɇ̸̱͇̳̮̗̘̺̳̞͗͛͌̑́̒̐̒ͅⱤ̸͚̖͎̞͓̠̲̮̺͐͊̈͑̅͜Ɏ̸̜̠̯̝̥̺̪̯͉̓͋̓̐̊͂̾͘͘̚Ø̵̳͙͙͛̉̔̎́͗̈́̑͘₦̷̲͙̉̅̑̃Ɇ̵̗̹̰̳̦͕̀̽̈͝͝.̶̜̜͖͗͌͒̑̕͘

Martial left the room and locked himself in his room, Russia however.... took the diary and brought it with him. he might find some clues on why did Phil do that, He knows Phil would have dodge that truck but he didn't. he read the whole thing again and tried to remember some events while Phil wasn't acting weird and have cuts on his arms.

He doesn't remember having everyone ignoring Phil, and he remembers Martial taking care of his brother but..... he also Knows that Martial is also busy with other stuff like taking care of papers since Phil was always in the building where All countries should be at everyday, Russia tried to connect everything but still no answer.

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" So... What do you need to know, Asean? " America said in a calm tone, Asean cleared his throat. 

" America... do you perhaps.... knows some things about your brother, Philippines?" America raised an eyebrow, 'why does he wants to know? i thought he already know i 'hate' him?' he thought.

"what kind of things exactly? his past or the other things.... " 

" The Other things. i want to know what happened between You and Philip despite the fact You hate him. " America sighed, looks like Asean wants to know what happened between them but... He doesn't wanna tell It because he'll be dead if He revealed It. But luckily, they we're in a room where those guys doesn't know or hear them. 

" I'll tell you but. Don't tell anyone OR we'll be both dead, Got it? " Asean nodded as America started telling him things he shouldn't be telling but.... Curiosity Killed the cat. There's no turning back now, do we? Plus there's no way Phil will know right? Right? 

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Phil was there, staring at the window or more liking zoning out after what happened yesterday, (yes this may be confusing But i don't put what time or day it is in this book since it's like uhh annoying to me cuz i have to write again and again so yeahhhhh sorry for confusing y'all) the others noticed it, his eyes is telling that he's... alone.

" Hey Phil, You Alright there? " Indo asked with a worried tone, Phil looked at him with a smile "Oh uh.. Y-yeah! I'm fine... just.. thinking.. about something... " He trailed off. Phil continued to stare at the window while the others are talking about things, like Vietnam painting his face with Vietcong's flag and scaring America the hell out of him. 

Mal pranking China and S.K, then the rest are just them doing silly things on every country, Phil winced a little in the pain he felt. " Phil, You okay? " Mal asked in concerned, " yeah, i'm gonna to the bathroom real quick... " He quickly left his sit and headed to the bathroom, he locked the door and looked at his arm. 

His sleeve was stained with blood, ' weird... i don't remember having a wound here.... ' he thought, he slowly rolled up his sleeve, he saw his old cut opening. he quickly turned on the sink and washed the wound with soup, he endured the pain. after washing the wound, he looked around in the bathroom for bandage but sadly he couldn't find one.

' wait! maybe i could use my towel! ' he grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his wound and tied it up so it won't loosen. he sighed heavily and looked at the mirror in front of him, he had an headache as a memory pops out.

It was him, Glaring at the mirror, he clenched his fist and punched the mirror really hard as the mirror scattered and creating a small crack on the wall, his hand was bleeding, he grabbed a piece of the mirror and pressed it against his skin and made a big cut on it, he didn't bothered in washing it, he just putted bandages on it and walked out of the bathroom.

Phil was breathing heavily, but also in pain because black veins starts to appear where his wound at, it was a painful feeling for him. Tears starts to appear in his eyes. Black veins also started to appear in his face from his cheeks or neck. 

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" Hey guys, should we check on Phil? I'm getting worried...." Brunei said in concerned, it's been almost an hour now since Phil went to the bathroom.

" Okay, let's go check on him..." Mal said as 5 of them heads to the bathroom, "Phil? hello? Are you okay?" Vietnam tried to twist the doorknob but it was locked from inside.

" guys, he locked himself inside!" Vietnam said in a panicked voice " Viet, Calm down. let's try kicking it " Indo said and launched himself to the door. The door slammed open, they saw Phil on the floor crying in pain.

" PHIL?!?!??!?!? " 

" Ⱨ̵̲̯͔͙̩͉̄Ɇ̸̡̛̲̠̟͖̙̺̙͉̭͗̿̒̒͝Ⱡ̴̧͍̩̼̍̊́̓̽₱̷̨̣͐̈͛͗͗ ̶̘̺͇͕͓̣̺̄̽̈́͂̓̅̏̚̚͜͝₥̵̨͓̜͍̞̾̾͒̓͠ͅɆ̷̦͐́͑͠͝͝ "

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Cliffhanger bitches, That's all for today. I won't tell what America told Asean, also find it out yourself why is It. That America is Talking about :)