thirtytwo

470 24 14
                                    

natural woman


a/n
I'm in my feels with this chapter


This is stupid, so freakin stupid.

Why do I always do this to myself? He's going to hate it, he's a guy. Guys aren't into this sappy romcom grand gesture bullshit. I'm just making a fool out of myself but I couldn't think of anything else to do.

I've felt like my world has been burning down this year and he somehow has managed to dose the flames. I just want to say sorry for how I've acted but also thank you for him always being by my side through everything.

I have so much gratitude that I can't even put it into words. At least not words that amount to everything he's made me feel.

I feel so loved by him.

We haven't told each other those words, but I can feel it. I hope he can feel my love for him too even if I'm too coward to tell him directly. Hopefully tonight will be enough for him to know that I love him unconditionally.

I mean who other than a love sick idiot would be hanging fairy lights around this old playground at midnight.

This is stupid, so freakin stupid.

I've tried to turn this old metal play-set into a little bungalow for the two of us to have a romantic night together. It's nothing compared to Pinterest though. I laid down one of those foam mats and used the sheets from my bed to make it look like something you'd want to sleep on. I even set up fluffy pillows all over with my sheepskin throw blanket and hung old sheets from the bars overhead to give us a little privacy. The fairy lights are the last little bit I'm setting up to add to the ambience.

I would've put candles in here but knowing our luck we'd wake up surrounded by flames.

After my breakdown at school today, Harry insisted that I go home and take the rest of the day off. He was so calm hearing the news and then even more calm as I told him about what Father John did to me. I thought he was going to be disgusted by me.

I've been so afraid to tell him because I didn't want him to look at me any different, but he never did. He held me till I stopped shaking and then wiped away my tears. He even kissed my cheeks and whispered that I'm okay and he's here for me and will never let anyone touch me like that again.

The bad boy is my Guardian Angel.

The more I think about it though the less of a bad boy he seems to be. His life is hard and not fair but he's so sweet and so good. I don't know how I got so lucky to even know him.

I think that's part of the reason why I love him. I love him as so much more than just a lover; I love him as a person, I love his soul, I love everything about him. I love how he can protect me without even knowing that he's doing it.

I've pushed him away with everything going on but he kept coming back to save me. I'm forever grateful for his love and support.

I still can't believe Father John is dead.

I feel so guilty cause I prayed for this. I prayed that he would die or disappear and I would never see him again. That makes me a horrible person. I wanted someone dead, like really prayed and wished that he would die.

There still isn't a lot of information relating to his death; all anyone knows is that his house burnt down and he was inside. It probably was an accident with his stove of some freak thing with a gas pipe. Whatever it is, no ones confirmed anything. The news just broke today so I'm sure more will come to light with time. I don't know if it even matters how he died. He's gone and I'm free. He won't ever hurt me again.

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