World Outside (On Hiatus)

Author's reading

I was trying to avoid Krist's attempts to talk with me about the event. I knew I needed to attend it, yet my head still ignored that idea. And it wasn't only my dear editor who was budging me about it. New, Off, and Tay, who was overly excited about the event, was trying to bring the issue into every conversation. I spend four days hidden inside my workroom, pretending to work. In reality, I was only sulking and fearing upcoming disasters. Telling the truth, I did pity Krist for having to deal with someone like me. 

I went outside of the study, moving to the Bibi's cage when the door to my room opened, revealing grinning Off. Dressed in comfortable grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, he marched right towards me, and without a word, pushed my wheelchair to the hallway and out on the terrace. I was so stunned by his action that I couldn't react. 

"Wait here." Off commanded me before disappearing back inside the house. I find myself nodding even though he wasn't near anymore. After a while, he was standing by my side, placing a warm duet on my legs together with Bibi. I watched him pulling the chair in front of me, and only then I spotted five more seats. 

"What is this supposed to mean?" I asked confusedly. 

"Author's reading." Off smiled as he settled right before me. 

"Nonsense." I dismissed the idiotic idea away. 

"I won't read anything for you." I huffed, scratching the bunny's white soft fur. 

"Not only for me." Off smiled, waving his hand in the air. I heard several steps and talking before the five more people appeared. I blinked few times, clutching my pet a bit stronger. 

"What are you all doing here?" I asked, frowning. New, Tay, Krist, I could understand why these three were here, but Arm and Singto? 

"I brought food." Singto smiled, pointing at the trays with various delicacies in New's and Tay's hands.

"I am here to bicker with Off." Arm smirked at Off triumphally. 

"Try me, asshole." Off, grinned back, turning around to look at me. 

"I thought you could use a small practice." He said, smiling. I was perplexed. Did he think this shit of idea could get me less scared? Did he think it was that easy? I started to get angry. I live almost half of my life watching people judging me, pitying me, talking shit about me. I went through things he would never understand. 

"Do I look that easy?" I spat out. 

"Gun," New spoke up, trying to calm me down.

"Do you think this little stunt of yours would do me any good?" I barked at Off again, not minding my words. 

"I hate this." I was enraged.

"I am sorry. I wanted to help you." Off stood up, and the dejected expression on his face shocked me. I didn't mean to be that harsh. I wanted him to understand that those unannounced things are making me uncomfortable. 

"Off, I." I tried to stop him from leaving, but I found it hard to do. Watching him turning his back at me, walking away and leaving me alone with five judging pairs of eyes made me dizzy. My head started to spin, and I find it difficult to breathe. He can't leave me, not him. The cold sweat formed on my back and forehead. I let go of Bibi, grabbing my chest in an attempt to stop the horrifying pain piercing through me. 

"Don't go." I managed to whisper before my vision started to get blurry. The fear multiplied as I realized not only Off would leave me but my friends too. They will give up on me because I am a hindrance. And I knew I deserved it. I heard panicking voices calling my name, but I was already deep, letting the demons taking over. The sounds around me seemed muffled as I had no more strength to fight.