𝓜𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓮𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼 - ꜰᴏᴜʀ / ᴛᴏʙɪᴀꜱ ᴇᴀᴛᴏɴ

Chapter Three

The houses on my street are all the same size and shape. They are made of gray cement, with few windows, in economical, no-nonsense rectangles. Their lawns are crabgrass and their mailboxes are dull metal. To some the sight might be gloomy, but to me, their simplicity is familiar as this is all I've ever known and is my home. 

The reason for the simplicity isn't disdain for unique-ness, as the other factions have sometimes interpreted it. Everything—our houses, our clothes, our hairstyles—is meant to help us forget ourselves and to protect us from vanity, greed, and envy, which are just forms of selfishness. If we have little and want for little, and we are all equal, we envy no one. At least that's what we are supposed to do.

I try to love it.

I sit on the front step and wait for Caleb and Beatrice to arrive from school. It doesn't take long. After a minute, I see gray-robed forms walking down the street. I hear laughter. At school, we try not to draw attention to ourselves, but once we're home, the games and jokes start. My natural tendency toward sarcasm is still not appreciated even after years. Sarcasm is always at someone's expense, apparently. Maybe I don't have to leave my family. Maybe if I fight to make Abnegation work, my act will turn into reality.

"Amara!" Caleb says. "What happened? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." He is with Susan and her brother, Robert, whilst Beatrice is trudging along behind them. Susan is giving me a strange look like I am a different person than the one she knew this morning. I shrug. "When the test was over, I got sick. Must have been that liquid they gave us. I feel better now, though."

I try to smile convincingly. I seem to have persuaded Susan and Robert, who no longer look concerned for my mental stability, but Caleb narrows his eyes at me, the way he does when he suspects someone of duplicity, he and Beatrice may only be fourteen but they know when I'm lying nine times out of ten.

"Did you two take the bus today?" I ask. I don't care how Susan and Robert got home from school, but I need to change the subject because their stares are unnerving.

"Our father had to work late," Susan says, "and the bus was filling up fast so we decided to walk."

"You're welcome to come over later, if you'd like," Caleb says politely.

"Thank you." Susan smiles at Caleb.

Robert raises an eyebrow at Beatrice. They had been exchanging looks for the past year as Susan and Caleb flirt in the tentative way known only to the Abnegation faction. Caleb's eyes follow Susan down the walk. I have to grab his arm to startle him from his daze. I lead him into the house and close the door behind us, while Beatrice follows behind us with an amused expression etched into her features. 

Caleb turns to me. His dark, straight eyebrows draw together so that a crease appears between them. When he frowns, he looks more like my mother than my father. In an instant I can see him living the same kind of life my father did: staying in Abnegation, learning a trade, marrying Susan, and having a family. It will be wonderful.

I may not see it.

"Are you going to tell me the truth now?" he asks softly, with Beatrice backing him up with a hopeful expression.

"The truth is," I say, "I'm not supposed to discuss it. And you're not supposed to ask. It'll ruin the surprise for you two in two years."

"All those rules you bend, and you can't bend this one? Not even for something this important?" His eyebrows tug together, and he bites the corner of his lip. Though his words are accusatory, it sounds like he is probing me for information—like he actually wants my answer.

I narrow my eyes. "Will you when it's your turn?"

Our eyes meet. I hear a train horn, so faint it could easily be wind whistling through an alleyway. But I know it when I hear it. It sounds like the Dauntless, calling me to join them and to be free of this life whilst thinking of myself for a change.

"Just . . . don't tell our parents what happened, okay?" I say to both of them. "I just- I don't want them to worry any more than they need to"

Their eyes meet for a few seconds, and then they nod.

I want to go upstairs and lie down. The test, the walk, and my encounter with the factionless man exhausted me. But my brother and sister made breakfast this morning, and my mother prepared our lunches, and my father made dinner last night, so it's my turn to cook. I breathe deeply and walk into the kitchen to start cooking.