Angels deserve to die-Larry Stylinson

chapter 11 (edited)

it hurts.

even when nothing touches my wrist, i can feel them, stinging and burning. a constant reminder of my failure. it always hurts more after the fact. it hurts that i fucked up all my hard work. it hurts that i wasn't stronger than the voice in my head. the one that overpowered louis'.

i always hate myself more for giving in.

what hurts the most is louis. he didn't wake up until the afternoon, and he looks like death. he won't even look me in the eye. niall said he didn't come back until 4am, and then they fought some more. we all know it was my fault. because i screwed up, didn't i?

i was a fool to think this could work

"morning buddy" niall said. louis moves past him, blindly and grabbing a mug from the cabinet and walking over to the coffeemaker. he stops in front of the window glancing out at the rain splattering. he bites his lip and pulls his gaze away.

"it's raining" he said into his coffee. his words are almost lost.

"we have interviews today so we'll be inside all day" liam said

"i'm not going" he says taking a sip of coffee.

"oh."

"you will be missed" niall adds

"and neither is harry"

my head snaps up "what?"

"we're going to take a trip" he says as as if it should be obvious

"uh, where?"

"you'll see when we go" louis says with a shrug "which reminds me. you should probably get ready"

i glance questionably at niall and liam, both of who make confused faces back. guess they weren't in on it.

this could be a very long day.

-

after niall and liam leave to go to the interviews, louis stands in the doorway of my room as i finish tying my shoes.

"ready?" he asks, no emotion showing on his face

i nod, uneasy. louis being abrupt , brusque—very un-louis. but i suppose i should expect more after last night, if niall described his breakdown correctly

i followed him out of the room, we exit the house and climb into the car. the whole ride he wouldn't look at me, he sits in silence, staring straight ahead, a muscle in his jaw working as he clenches it and grinds his teeth. his body language is uninviting, in a way that makes me wonder if he's angry or hurt or a little bit of both.

the silence is deafening and oppressive. i want to scream at louis or shake him, but he's acting so strangely i'm afraid he'll blow up. he seems on edge and like he could snap at any moment.

louis parks the rental car at a station. some sort of track runs between two platforms. he steps out and i follow.

he climbs up the stairs to the platform and takes out a couple of bills, feeding them to a nearby machine and pressing buttons. i take a moment to survey our surroundings. is this a train station? is louis going to push me in front of a train? he can definitely be explosive at his worst.

after about ten minutes, a light rail train arrives. louis doesn't push me in front of it so i guess that's a plus, i guess, i think.

louis leads me to the very back of the train and pushes me into the last two seats

"lou, where are we going?" i ask

"just shut up and let me think" he grinds his teeth some more.

i do. i don't wanna irritate him anymore than he already is