Lost Wings

CHAPTER 10: She Is Confusing

Jennie took care of me when I got sick and she find me when I didn't go home. Did she find me so much burden? I'll guess I make her life hard.

I should find my wings and I think I can lessen Jennie's problem.

I have been nothing but a burden and problem to her, I can't even do anything about it but just go with the flow.

'I need to find my wings...'

•••

I went alone to the cafeteria because Seulgi has dance practice and a school competition is coming soon.

I keep thinking about where I can find my wings, how can I get them back, can I go back to heaven again, and so much more questions related to my wings.

I sat on the chair and I put my foot on the table. I clasped my hand and close my eyes, I need to pray so God can hear me.

I was supposed to pray when suddenly someone sat in front of me and put her food tray on the table loudly. I sat quietly but this someone is so noisy.

"What are you doing?" Its Jennie.

"Praying." She scoffed.

"What are you praying for? Aren't you an angel, why do you need to pray?" I sighed.

"You just disturb my chance to call God." I opened my eyes and she stare at me. I tilted my head and she keep staring at me. "Hey! Jennie!."

"Oh?" She was snapped out of her thoughts. "There's no God Lalisa."

"How did you know? Do you have evidence that he is not true? Did you already visit heaven and find him there?" I bombarded her with questions.

"I forgot that you are an angel for a sec, did I offend you? For not believing God is true." This ungrateful brat, if God is not existing why Ella is still alive.

"God gave Ella a longer life, isn't that enough evidence that he is true?" She rolled her eyes.

"Why he didn't listen to my prayers? Why he made her suffer for too long? He should just never make her suffer for years." I sighed.

"Listen here Jennie, everything that happens in our life has a reason behind it. God testing us if we can solve and surpass every problem or hardships we encountering in our life." She suddenly pointed her fork at me.

"Listen here you dumb Angel, he did nothing but make everyone's life miserable. A lot of people suffering, sometimes if they can't handle the hardships anymore they choose to kill themselves. Did you know that suicide is a sin? You will rot in hell if you have done that."

"Suiciding is like running away or giving up, God didn't give anyone a task or hardships that they cant surpass. He knows each one of us and he knows our capabilities, he knows us very well inside and out. If you get tired take a break, if you feel like you want to give up then pray to God I know he will help each one of us. He is not sleeping, he is not deaf, he is not blind, and he is not heartless. He is always awake listening and watching us, he is always  there with us just don't lose faith."

"Stop it Lalisa, I will never going to believe in him again." She crossed her arms.

"Soon Jennie, you will be believing him again and you will going to pray at him again." She rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. She stood up from her seat and picked up her food tray.

"Such a dumb burden angel." I heard her mumbled before she walked away.

I didn't want to give her a burden, I'm not that dumb it's just everything in the human world is new to me because heaven doesn't like this.