Secret Identity || JJK || ✔️

삼십

Her shoulders sag as she lets out a breath before letting her head lean against my chest.

"I don't want to lose you." She quietly mumbles, still facing her back towards me. "I don't want to lose you either jagi, but if we continue like this.. it will break us both apart. So it's either, we both start working on the relationship and putting in an effort, or we break up."

She turns around and places her forehead against my chest, still not allowing me to look at her. I wrap my arms around her waist and try to pull her closer. She allows this and turns her face sideways, but still looks at the floor. When she sniffles, it becomes obvious to me why she won't let me see that gorgeous face of hers.

Placing a single finger underneath her chin, I lift her face and force her to look at me. To let me stare in those beautiful ocean blue eyes that I love so fucking much. The eyes that I don't ever want to see full of tears, look just like that, and I've caused it to happen and my heart breaks at the sight.

"I'm so sorry Kookie, I never meant to upset you, to make you feel like you were alone in this relationship. I truly am aware of my habit to prioritize work and-"

"I understand baby, I understand. You don't have to explain."

Leaning down, I place a soft kiss on her lips before hugging her tightly. We stand like this for almost fifteen minutes. Her face buried in the crook of my neck, her arms wrapped around my neck as well, and my arms tightly wrapped around her waist while I gently sway us from left to right.

Honestly, if you had told me just three days ago that I would be ending my relationship with Ava.. I would've laughed in your face and told you that you were a liar. I honestly thought that she would be the one for me, the one I'd share the rest of my life with, the one I would marry and create a family with, the one I would grow old with and look after our grandchildren with.

But now.. now I might have to start believing that she's not the one. My one special person. That she's not the one I would pick out the most gorgeous engagement ring for. That she's not the one that would watch walk down the aisle staring me down with a gentle smile on her face while I try to keep my tears at bay. That she's not the one that would carry my children in her belly and would bless me with a gorgeous family.

Her gorgeous blue eyes might not be the ones I'll stare and drown in for the rest of my life. Her breathtaking smile might not be the one I'll try to see every minute of every day. Her soft skin just might not be the skin I'll gently caress forever. And her cute frame might not be the one I'll be snuggling up against in bed for the rest of my life.

It hurts to think about missing out on everything that I could have had with her if we decide to break up.

It hurts to think about not waking up every day and having her as the first thought of the day, wondering how she's doing, wondering if she slept okay, wondering if she's thinking about me as well.

I don't want to lose her, but the more that I think about JP Entertainment and Hope Entertainment, the more it starts looking like it's our only option. When JP Entertainment officially opens, I'll become the Vice-President and will be busy as I figure out my new role in the new company. Ava will go back to Seoul to finally start her own project at Hope Entertainment, she wants to get to know the employees and work with them a couple of days a week for two or three weeks in a row with every department. Eventually, she'll take over the company when she is 23 years old and even though that's still a little more than a year away as she's almost 22.. she'll only get busier and busier.