Occupation Series #5: The Architect

CHAPTER 42

Chapter 42

Question flooded my mind. I have many questions to ask but I don't have courage to ask it to him. Here I am facing my father after so many years. I clenched the hem of my dress and looked at him. He grew so much older than the last time I saw him. He smiled at me and I only nodded my head. Kahit ang pag balik ng ngiti sakany ay hindi ko man lang magawa.

"H-how are you?" I want to have a normal conversation to him. He looked shocked because of what I asked. Is he expecting me to make a scene here and act uneducated. He's still my father and I want to act like how my mom raised me.

" I'm fine, you?" I sighed before looking at his eyes. "I'm good." sagot ko. 

"let's order first" tahimik akong tumango at tinawag nito ang waiter at nag order ng kakainin namin. Nang dumating ang order namin ay nag simula kaming kumain. I cleared my throat before wiping my mouth using the napkin on my lap. Napatingin ito saakin at maging ako ay natulala sakanya. Where should I start?

"Why do you leave mom, why do you leave us?" diretsong tanong ko. Kahit anong gawin ko na maging civil sakanya ay darating pa din kami dito sa punto kung saan itatanong ko pa din itong tanong na ito. Pinunasan nito ang gilid ng labi bago sumagot sa tanong ko. I gulped hard and my heart starts beating faster. 

"I had to." mahinang sagot nito. I almost laugehd without humor but I choose to shakes my head. "Why?" tanong ko ulit.

Nilagay nito ang kamay sa ibabaw ng lamesa and there I saw a unfamiliar wedding ring on his finger. Ibang-iba iyon sa suot ni mommy, iba. Ngumiti ako ng mapait bago ibaling sa iba ang tingin ko. Isang magandang ideya ang hindi pag-uwi ni mommy dito.

"Kapag hindi ako umalis patuloy naming sasaktan ang isa't isa, not physically but emotionally. I know I'm not a good husband to your mom but I tried to be a good father to you. We never love each other when we got married, it's all our parents plan, to let us marry each other. Your mom is very elegant and I want a simple life and we never reach our goals together because we have different goals. If I can turn back the time where I can leave with reason and if I have that courage to face you I would." ang kanina ko pang pinipigilan na luha ay isa-isang tumulo sa pisngi ko. Hindi ko magawang tumingin sakanya dahil alam ko ay lungkot ang makikita ko doon.

"I left because I need to. But I never left you, I became a father to you, watching you from a far and being proud to you whenever you had achievements at school. I was there, always. When the time your mom is not there with you I was there." nanginginig ang mga kamay ko habang pinapakinggan ang sinasabi nito.

"Hindi ko man minahal ang mama mo pero minahal kita. I love you as my child and I will always will." tumango ako sakanya bago punasan ang mga luha sa mga mata ko kahit alam ko na wala naman iyon saysay dahil patuloy pa din ito sa pag tulo.

"You have a wife. Children?" I asked. He nodded his head twice. " I married Miranda one year after I left you. We had a two children." all my life I thought I was the only one but I have two siblings.

"I heard about what happened to your mom." ngumiti ako ng mapait bago tumango sakanya. "Tapos na iyon. My mom can handle her self and she's much stronger now." hindi ko maiwasang hindi maging proud kay mommy dahil nagawa nya na lagpasan iyon. Maybe running away is also good for the heart especially if you're not strong enough.

" Thanks to you!" 

"Thanks to her because she fight." I said.

Katahimikan ang namayani saaming dalawa hanggang sa may dumating na kaedad nitong babae. She's wearing a simple white floral dress and a bag on her hands. Tumayo si Daddy nang makita nya ang babae at niyakap ito. Napatingin ako sa kamay ng babae and there I saw a ring on her finger.