Dangerous Desires | PJM 18+

FOURTEEN

My hands slide behind his neck as I stare into his deep chocolate irises that seem a bit brighter when reflected in the light. His plump lips part as his fingertips tighten and I feel his heart pounding in his chest. The tension between us feels thick like the sweetest honey slowly dripping and when his tongue nervously sweeps over his bottom lip, I feel like I could lose myself.

"Jimin?"

"Hm?" He lowly responds.

"I-... you-... I think I need to go to sleep." It's not at all what I was about to say. I was moments away from confessing that I want him to kiss me but the split second of clarity that hit me reminded me that it would be wrong.

"Right." He loosens his grip on me and blinks a few times as if he's coming back to reality as well. "Can you walk okay now?"

Wiggling my leg, I smile up at him. "All better now."

Stepping back, he lets his fingers slip away from my sides, almost tickling me as he does so. "I'll clean this up before I lay down for the night. Sleep well, Mia."

"You too and thanks again." I tuck my hair behind my ear before completely turning and walking back down the hall.

Shutting the bedroom door behind me, I press my back to it and take a deep breath. Why do I feel like such a teenage girl around him? Not only that but it seems as if I have the same effect on him. Fuck, if I was single, I'd be all over him.

Sighing, I walk over to his bed and pull down the bedspread to reveal even more of the red silk sheets. Sliding my body into his bed, I nibble on my lip as my imagination starts to run wild immediately. Thoughts of his body in between my parted legs and him pressing open-mouthed lingering kisses all over my neck and chest. Visions of my hands holding him closer as my fingers dig into his smooth back when he begins moving down my body. Those intense eyes locking on mine and claiming all of my attention.

My fingers glide over my breasts as my eyes fall shut and I pretend it's him touching me instead, wetness already collecting between my thighs and I suppress the urge to moan when I start to rub circles over my sensitive bud. Just the fact that I am where he has slept is turning me on and even more so how much he connects with me emotionally and mentally. Even the memories of the prolonged looks between us as if at any moment we could do the unthinkable has my body tensing the longer I bring myself towards the brink of my demise.

I want him. Dangerously so. In every... conceivable... way.

For now, my mind doesn't wander off to how I am not available for him and that he's my forbidden fruit. For now, my fantasies play out as if I'm freely able to give myself to him. Mind, body, and soul.

My orgasm crashes through me and I clasp my other hand over my mouth to keep myself from breathing too loudly. The bedroom is far enough away from the living room that I don't think he would be able to hear such a quiet thing like heavy breathing but as my thought process slowly trickles back into reality, I do know that I wouldn't want to be caught in the act.

Slipping off of the bed, I walk into the en-suite bathroom and clean myself up, avoiding the mirror as I start to feel guilty about lusting after a man that isn't my husband regardless of how much of an undeserving ass Cameron is.

My throat feels tight as I take a deep breath to hold in the tears that threaten to escape when it dawns on me that I will never have this with the man I'm vowed to spend the rest of my life with. At this point, how could I ever feel such a desire for someone who has disrespected me, degraded me, and showed so little care for something as simple as my well-being?

Even the thought of divorce saddens me. It feels as if I have failed somehow or that my naive way of envisioning love in my life has come to an end.

Curling up into the fetal position when I lay back down, I stare out at the Eiffel Tower and let the hot tears stream down my face as they have almost every night over the last couple of years.