Wrought King of Iron

Chapter 14: True Love

The seeds of doubt in my heart were growing. My own failure to win, in combination with my realisation of my truth, led me to lose faith. I was falling into despair. Even if I thought Tohsaka would be better off without me, it still broke my heart to imagine a future without her. And as I slipped further away from consciousness; as my future without her would be set in stone, a voice from beyond pulled me out of the darkness.

'Shirou!' She came over to me, embracing my crying self. 'Are you okay?'

'To-Tohsaka...' I was surprised as well as filled with a deep sadness and regret. 
'Sorry... I couldn't beat him... even after all your help. I'm sorry... that your pendant was damaged. I'm - I'm sorry for everything...' I was breaking down in her arms. Despite thinking that I had to stop burdening her, I fully accepted her love and worry, finding comfort in her embrace. My words and actions reflected the eternal contradiction that was my life, as I apologised over and over in her arms.

'Verner, that's enough. Don't come any closer. You won the fight.' Tohsaka was firm in tone, and I could tell her rage was seeping out.

'So you accept his loss. Good! You finally opened your eyes. Now, Rin Tohsaka, come and join hands with me. Together, we could rule the world. This possibility will be made true, once you recognise how weak Shirou is. You aren't obliged to offer yourself up to someone who can't give you anything.' Verner with a great smile, advanced with his arms open, as if expecting Tohsaka to run to him.

'There may be some truth to your words... I may never fulfil my greatest potential, however that is fine with me. Verner, there is one thing fundamentally wrong with your perception. The reason why I stand by Shirou, isn't out of obligation, and it certainly isn't because I wanted something out of our relationship. I simply fell in love with the man who I had admired, for upholding his moral way of life. Spending time with him, and giving him things of my own, is never something I intended to be repaid for. Because, at the end of the day, I was with him because I loved him, and his happiness was mine too. Actually, you are wrong about Shirou not haven given me anything. I never wanted material recompense, as what he gave me was far greater than any possession I could attain. He gave me in return his unwavering love. He gave me happiness. So I will never give up on Emiya, because he is my everything!'

I really was a fool, for ever doubting myself or Tohsaka. I finally realised that what I feel for Tohsaka is the same as her towards me. That is; a true and unconditional love. A love that desires nothing more from the other than for them to be happy. The reason why we spent time together; the reason why we chose to connect our lives, was never because we aimed to gain something from each other, but because, seeing the other happy was all it took for us to be happy ourselves. There is no seeking of material gain, because what we can obtain without needing to take from the other is the greatest happiness of love.

I smiled at her, and gently moved Tohsaka's arms off from around me. She understood the gesture, standing up and moving backwards to watch from the crowds. I had almost given up, but right when I sunk to my lowest, a hand reached out from beyond and pulled me close. In order to honour the unconditional and pure love we held for each other, I resolved myself to never yield against someone who sought to destroy our bond and replace it with his own, twisted one.

Mustering all of my strength, I managed to take a stand.
'Verner... I can still fight. I haven't lost yet. Until my spirit breaks, which won't happen, you will never beat me. I refuse to allow you to tarnish and mock something you have never even experienced yourself!'

His anger flared from my statement. 'You bast*rd! What do you know about me. Don't you dare try to claim you can understand me better than I can myself.'

I knew that it was incredibly offensive to strike so close to his heart, without fully understanding his circumstances and why he was so assertive with his views,  but after everything he said, I couldn't simply dismiss this distaste of mine towards him.