Loveless Beauty (Completed)

Chapter XXVII: Equation gone Wrong

I know Aj has some secrets hiding under her sleeves. But I never ponder her on those to reveal. Because I know she would prefer distancing herself rather than telling me. And I don't want that.

"You won't ask?!" I broke the silence. Outer one along with inner. I want to know what her opinion was. Does it affect her, I, hiding secrets from her?!

"It's better that way, isn't it?!" Aj turned to me, frowning. She struggled, but said no matter, "otherwise why would you have hidden?!"

I smiled wholeheartedly after what felt like an era and turned my attention back to the view iinfront. Cause I realized that I have a gem called Adhira.

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I try to focus on studies avoiding Kanan's constant gaze on me. We are studying together as exams are held next week. Actually he needs my help in studies and we don't even have the same subjects. Brilliant aren't we?! Also, he is my senior afterall. What benefits him from these study sessions was an actual wonder in itself.

I was solving my equations when Kanan started tapping his nails on the table. His tabla techniques are bizzare to him as his rhythm of tapping sounds irritating to ears. He was doing that to gain my attention which I didn't pay to him.

First it was my fa___ Mr. Jha and now him. Why don't they let me study?! And oh, Mr. Jha hasn't stopped his calls if anyone was wondering about it. He has just distanced the gap between his calls. Like he calls after every thirty minutes rather than fifteen. Progress, I guess.

"Kanan, if you are bored, go and entertain yourself. See yourself outside," I assert to which he ignored and continued his tapping.

I'm failing this equation thrice. "Kanan don't test my patience." I mumbled scratching the method I used.

Yet my warning was being ignored. Again.

After a few moments of silence I thought he listened. However I was wrong.

"This equation. How important is it to solve this one, huh?!" Kanan tsked. His tone was accusing.

I turned my focus from my book to him. Raising a brow at him, I retorted, "yes." Then focused back on my equations. Which type of Question was that?! Ofcourse it's important to get that equation solved. We are studying dude not playing.

"I wish you had given this much attention to your life. This wouldn't have happened," though he mumbled, I heard it clearly.

I sighed, defeated. "Hmmm, like my two years old self have paid more attention. Then I wouldn't have been kidnapped." I remarked sarcastically. Kanan rolled his eyes while I continued cursing my two year old self, "but poor me had no idea it would be like this. Otherwise, I would definitely have paid more attention."

"I was talking about your marriage thing, not the other one," Kanan explained.

Don't knowing what to say I found myself tongue tied. I wasn't expecting that. But was it true?! What Kanan had mentioned and I failed to realize. If I had paid more attention to my marriage life, would it be different now?! Has my marriage failed because of me?! Am I the only one who failed in this?!

But the effort should be from both sides. Shouldn't it?! And as far as I am concerned, Gashmir has not made any special efforts to last our marriage. Infact he didn't object when my father asked for divorce. Instead he signed the papers without a blink of an eye. As he couldn't wait to be freed any more.

Sensing my lost state Kanan reverted my attention back, "look K, I know you might not agree with me. But I have seen you guys. You were not perfect but you were adjusting. Gashmir was adjusting. I know sometimes he loses his temper. but he regretted afterwards,"

I couldn't control my laugh at this. Regrets and Gashmir?! Wonderful joke.

Kanan gave me a serious look and I couldn't help but snicker, "are we talking about the same person here?!"

He scoffed, "ofcourse."

"Well then I must say Gashmir has a way of showing it," I concluded.

Kanan grunted, "Keya, it was all new for him. As it was for you. He made mistakes. A lot of it. Doesn't mean he doesn't regret them. He just___ doesn't show,"

I stared at him, skeptically. "Doesn't show?!" I questioned.

With a shake of head, I continued, "the truth is Kanan he shows. He shows it all. His disdain for me. He shows his disliking for me. He despises me. You know what his last words were. No?! Let me rephrase it for you. 'I would have been more delighted if you had never come in my life.'"

Clenching my jaw I refrained myself from crying. That bastard's words couldn't hurt me. Not like this.

I didn't give Kanan a chance to defend further. "But you know what, I feel more than grateful to have him out of my life. And now let's focus on studies."

I ended the topic pointing towards my unsolved equation which needs my attention. He rolled his eyes before focusing back on his books. "Fuckinh stubborn heads," was what I heard Kanan say as we drowned back into our studies.