alexithymia (n.)
the inability to express your feelings.
genre: angst(?)
word count: 1.7k
one.
Y/N, the basic girl who couldn't get over her ex. If it wasn't for Doyoung always getting in your way of your smooth schedule of school, you wouldn't be bothered but even though things had ended between the two of you, you still felt fuzzy around him and he still gave you his cold attention. This wasn't new but you disliked the idea of still not being over your ex.
You walked out of the school campus holding the strap of your backpack when someone stretched her arms over your shoulders. "Here ya go," she said handing you a cigarette.
"Thanks." You took out our lighter and lit the cigarette seeing that all the teachers had already left.
You weren't addicted but you did all the bad things. For fun.
It was amazing you could do things you wanted to do without Doyoung having to tell you not to. You knew it was bad, you knew it was something you shouldn't be doing, but that's what made it fun.
You took a huge drag of the cigar. But as soon as you exhaled pulling out the butt of the cigarette from your lips, it was snatched from your fingers and thrown to the ground. You were fuming when you looked up to see the face you dreaded the most to see.
"What the fuck? Who said you could do that!" You raised your brows, face clearly showing how mad you were.
Boundaries.
You bent down to pick it up but the cigarette was stepped on by his shoe. "Stop, doing this to yourself, it doesn't suit you," Doyoung spoke as he extended his hand to help you up.
You brushed off his hand and walked away. It was over, you would make it that it was over, it would be soon, you told yourself.
two.
You sat on your bed, stomach first, going through the pictures on your phone gallery. You scrolled till you saw a picture of Doyoung and you smiling in a selfie, it was true what all your friends had said that day.
You two really did look like you achieved to pick out a star from the sky. You tried but you couldn't just bring yourself to delete this picture.
Considering you couldn't delete his number too, this wasn't such a big thing you couldn't do.
The day he said he wanted a break up, you were in awe, but his reason was what made you more angry. He had said that he couldn't juggle between taking care of you as a girlfriend and taking his job being in the student council.
It wasn't like you were some ten year old who required special attention. You had told him but he made it clear, just like how you planned to make it a clear idea for you to end high school with no contact with him whatsoever. But it was only if life had the same idea as you did.
three.
Your grade had a group of girls who were rebels, drugs, partying, every bad thing our parents tell us not to do when we start school, they did it but it caused no harm to any of the other students. They were nice and would be friends with anyone.
This morning you came in early and to your surprise, this group was chilling at the back of the school. You went to them and accepted the cigarette that one of them handed you.
You knew your limits, you kept it to only a couple of puffs and just joined in their conversations until the bell rang for morning assembly.
"We've received a complaint about students using prohibited substances on school ground, please remain in your classes with your home room teachers while the prefects do a checking around the school."
