Dark Desire

Chapter Fifteen

MARIANA

Perhaps it was the vulnerability in his teary dark eyes, the slight quiver of his chin, the shaking hands that held onto my waist that snapped something in me—something I hadn't dare crossed in all 24 years of my life.

I tilted my head up and closed the distance between our lips.

Wolff's entire body tensed. If it wasn't for the soft moan that slipped from his mouth to mine, I would have pulled back. The sound fuelled something in me—a surge of energy that parted my lips enough to welcome his tongue, a sort of ache that arched my back and pressed my body closer to his, a kind of longing that made it impossible to be slow.

I could only gasp his name as a manner of breathing until we were tasting each other again—no, devouring. There was nothing simple in the way he sucked on my lower lip or the sensual glide of his tongue on mine or the stinging graze of his teeth. He was giving it all to me. My first kiss. In his room. When the sun was ablaze and pouring through the cracks of his blinds like disco lights. I would never forget it.

Wolff kissed with his entire being. The moment he touched my lips, he made sure I would never forget the way he felt and what he tasted like.

"Mariana," It was barely a whisper, but it pierced through me. He uttered my name like a prayer—like he needed me and I was his salvation.

And right then, I knew. I knew that I was going to do everything to help this man. I would be everything he needed.

I reached for his hand, as gentle as the first time I held it and said, "I want to be in this with you. Let me help you." My breath with those heavy, meaningful words caressed his ear and he shivered. "Let me be what you need."

He swallowed as if the act was painful. "I—I could hurt you. When we start, it could get—I could get out of control." He sighed and made no attempt to back away from me. Progress, we were making progress. "When I lose that control, Mariana, it would be too much for you. I wouldn't stop. I would keep going until I'm beyond satisfied—until I was drained. I would keep going even if you squirm and push and beg me to stop."

"Had—had that been what it's like with the...others?"

A few silent seconds passed with his head bowed, gaze so low that his eyes were almost closed. The amount of shame emanating from him was so strong that I knew the answer before he uttered the word, "Yes."

Instead of recoiling, like what he must have expected, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head against his chest. Every part of him was hard. Every part. And even if I felt it, I didn't act like it. Even if I wanted to know so badly how he'd feel underneath my palms, I just hugged him and gave him the purest kind of comfort.

Eventually, his hand was a soft pressure at the back of my head, the other remained circled at my waist and for the first time in my life, I felt the kind of security that didn't suffocate me.

"I like how you feel," I mumbled against his chest. My voice was low and soft, a contrast to the violent pounding of my heart and his. "I like how you can be gentle like this but Wolff, I want you to know that when I read your book...I understood and it didn't scare me. Who you are didn't scare me."

Perhaps, he was so different that it thrilled me. The hunger I felt from him through his words kindled a small fire inside me, aching to be more—to match his.

But even before I'd gotten a taste of him, I knew what he had was a wildfire. Could I keep up?

"Can I kiss you again?" It was enough to stop me from speaking and pull my head back to look at him. His eyes were heavy and longing and starved but it was the gentle caress of his thumb on my lower lip that had me nodding and leaning in to meet him half-way.

This time, when Wolff kissed me, my back hit his mattress, the familiar softness of it welcoming me as if I've always belonged there. My brazen hands slipped through the strands of his hair, the gloriousness of it and the warmth of his mouth on mine had me panting and arching my back. Right then I felt it, the dampness pooling in my underwear so much that I blushed and pressed my thighs together.

When Wolff pulled back to catch his breath and his gaze dipped low, just enough to note the way I was closing my legs, he growled. God. He literally growled and gave justice to his name.

"Spread your legs." A soft demand against my neck. I wasted no time to will my legs apart, just enough for him to slip a hand underneath my sweatpants and confirm what we both already knew. I was wet. So, shamefully wet. "Fuck, Mariana."

Oh God. Were we finally going to do it?

Faster than I could stop it, faster than I would have noted the shift in his expression, Wolff recoiled. He pulled his hand out of my pants as easily as he slipped beneath them, a pained expression written in his sharp features.

"Not yet," he shook his head, lids falling shut. "Let me hold on to this bit of control while I can. I want—I want to be with you when you still look at me the way you do and kiss you as sweetly as you deserve." He then opened his eyes and as if a phantom hand reached through my chest and squeezed, my heart ached at the pain in them.

With half his body still hovering over me and my palms now pressed against his hard chest, I knew every tremble and every strain that was going through his body. I was aware of how much he was restraining and holding back no matter how much I put myself bare before him. He knew I was ready. We both knew. But if this was going to work, whatever this thing between us, it had to be his choice. Everything had to go according to his rules, his plans. Because otherwise, it would fall apart.

So I merely nodded and stroked his cheek gently with my knuckle and strode past him to his doorway.

With a soft smile I told him, "I'll be ready. With whatever side you bring to me, I'll be ready." And I left to the sounds of his bathroom door opening and closing and the shower pouring desperately to muffle the sounds I was already too eager to hear.