INDOMITUS [18+]✔️

38: Epihialtes

I also miss the lake, it was a sight to behold.

Archer informed me that this apartment has been paid for, under a disguised name. I could reside here as long as I want. These blank pages are the only way of overcoming my boredom for now. I browse through Youtube mindlessly, scroll through twitter. Occupying myself is the only way of overcoming my pain as it seems.

It started raining as soon as I got here. It still is. The sky cried with me, how poetic.

I know it would take some time for me to adjust. I could only hope in the process I don't lose my soul.

Archer also said I was going to continue my therapy here. I hope he contacts me soon, I am dying to know about them.

9th September, 2021

Archer didn't call me or email me. I hope everything is okay.

This morning I woke up to the sound of a constant doorbell. My first instinct was to grab my phone and call the guard whom Archer assigned to me. Mr. Hawke. You can imagine my relief when I discovered it was the nice lady next door. Her name is Samantha Archiebald and she was in her 30's.

She said she figured that I cried myself to sleep, so she brought me breakfast. I had never been so grateful for having a neighbour. Some risotto, pancakes, kale fry, and frappuccino, I gobbled them like a cavewoman. Seriously, how long has it been since I had a healthy, fulfilling breakfast?

We chatted about random stuff and how she met Archer in college. She was his senior and she was also helping him with his Ph.D. At some point in our conversation, I told her about Ares and broke into tears. She was there the entire time and consoled me.

I was used to crying myself to sleep alone, being held as I sobbed my pain away felt addictive to say the least. I can only hope that I don't get too addicted to it.

Every time I think about Ares, I feel myself withering. The tiniest broken pieces razed into the storm, I feel myself drowning. My darkness left me and the warmth burnt me. As I write this, I am crying. I am holding Ares' necklace. I just want to go home to him.

Samantha had told me that the pain in love hurts the most, it tears us apart but time heals everything.

Am I in love with Ares?

I have no idea. All I know is that the mere thoughts of him are tearing me apart. His touches, his kisses, his voice, his smell, his warmth- everything etched into my memory like a beautiful poem. I remember every inch of him, I remember how our lips worshipped each other. I remember how we cried together as we stripped each other of our sanity.

He promised me protection. He promised me forever.

If this is what love is, let it be. It's a beautiful feeling, a devouring feeling. It is a painful feeling. It shredded me. Shattered me. My scarlet love tainted me.

Ares' touch burned into my flesh, setting me ablaze until it touched my soul. I am addicted to him and there is no cure.

12th September, 2021

It has been three days since I last wrote. Writing is hard.

It's like I have thousands of words and thousands of possible scenarios racing through my mind and only one can be inked on the paper. I hate the fact I cannot write down those thousands of scenarios.

It had been.... Eventful to say the least. Archer finally called me on 1oth from a burner phone. I made sure to scold him for a good 5 minutes for making me worry. In response he only chuckled and said he had been a bit occupied.