𝕒 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕝𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤 from the pov of Marlena (most of the time, but the other pov's are about her). Marlena is the muse behind the band, mentioned in their album "Il ballo...
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DAMIANO
Somewhere in Italy, 2021
When we've landed, we immediately travel by bus to the county house where we will be staying until after the concert next week. We all are in a favorable mood that we're finally going home after a long, amazing but tiresome time and that we can spend some time with our family and friends. Thomas and Victoria are dancing and singing to Shum and other energetic party songs to celebrate we're in Italia and that we're all so thrilled to perform for this special performance for our Italian fans. Ethan is quiet as always but he seems to enjoy it as well. Yet I'm somewhere else with my thoughts.
When we were on the tour bus in Russia and I was thinking about Marlena, I came up with the plan of organizing this game for our fans, hoping that Marlena would respond in some way. I promised myself on that bus that letting Marlena go was not going to be my last act of love to her. It might have been the right thing to do at that time and our lives are completely packed at this moment but I am still missing something, as I feel a loss of what was most important to me once in my life. Times have passed and we both have aged, maybe we can handle it now, together. The distance between us had grown to a neverending cleft, but now I'm in Italy I feel like the gap can be filled again if I try.
She doesn't completely deserve my efforts because she hasn't even tried to contact me in all that time, but I made mistakes as well when we were together. What once was easy in the beginning started weighing too heavy on our shoulders and it ripped us apart. She broke my heart but I broke much more because I didn't want to see her problems first.
This can be an opportunity to glue her shards back together with golden paint if she lets me because she once was the one that painted me golden. She made me shine brighter than the stars and the moon together. The amplitude of her love gave me the energy to light up. She left me because the lights in her own eyes were extinguished and her smile slowly started fading away. So she started faking it because me, my success, and my happiness mattered more to her than her own well-being. She was a dying star, and as you may know, they collapse and then they explode. But because they're so many lightyears away I saw the signs too late.
Still, I realized that I had to be clever to do this and keep respecting her. So this plan was perfect. If she's still missing me, longing for me like I do she will participate and try her best since she always used to search for a meaning or a clue behind every word I said and the things I did. And if she's not then I can move on and say that I've at least tried something. If this witchhunt can be the way of communication I'll take it, even though it's like searching a needle in a haystack.
All of this may sound complicated but she and our relationship were complicated as well. It has to be complicated because my friends absolutely can't know that I did this for her and that I'm still thinking about her. They've tried so hard to stop talking about her when I am around, they don't even use her name anymore because I think they're afraid that I'll explode like a grenade under too much pressure and that I'll take them with me. But when Marlena left, I should have talked about her and the situation to someone instead of to myself. They were so careful with me yet I was going insane, I didn't need their pity, I just needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. I longed for someone to help me when the sole person who could help me and understand me with my feelings is gone.
