Dear Melanie

The Funeral

As I walked into the graveyard, I held my mother's hand. My face was red and swollen from crying so much, but I still had tears to shed. My best friend, Taylor, had just taken her own life just a few days ago. My heart wrenched at the thought of her being gone.

I felt like my body was just going to collapse. I haven't been able to stop crying since I got the news. My body has gone numb. Walking through this cemetery doesn't feel real. I can start to see the metal bars over the giant hole they were going to put her in. This isn't real.

I can hear the soft sobs all around me. I looked around and saw so many different faces. People holding tissues to their faces. The despair in the air was so thick I could almost taste it. I hadn't realized how many people showed up until this moment. Everyone dressed in dark clothes. Everyone's eyes red and wet.

I noticed that Inez's family sat at the front. Her father and stepmother sat in the first two chairs by the aisle. I could see her twin brother Donovan sat as far from the casket but as close to the family as he could. I can't imagine how he is feeling right now. Especially being a twin.

We finally arrived to the hole and took our seats as the pastor prepared himself to speak.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Inez Celeste Samuels. A bright girl taken from us entirely too soon. The Bible says..." My mind drifted away from the pastor's words.The only thing I could hear was Taylor's last words to me:

I love ya Mel.

I stared at the mahogany box that sat on the metal fixture waiting to be settled down into the harsh cold earth. This is where she will be resting for eternity. I will never see her again.

You're supposed to be beside me, telling me this is some sick twisted nightmare. When I wake up I'm supposed to call you and hear your voice again. You're supposed to answer the phone and say, "hey now! You know that's never going to happen! We're going to grow old together!"

We're supposed to go to the mall and make fun of the idiots there you're supposed to help me figure out what we're going to do for the sleepover this weekend. We're supposed to be talking about how we're going to make this school year better than last year. It's only been a few days and I already miss you so much.

Everything inside me feels broken and shattered. Taylor, why did you leave me?

The pastor must have stopped speaking because when I came-to my mother was getting me out of my chair. Everyone was lining up to put a rose over her casket. The closer I got I could feel my knees shaking. My mother held my hand tight as we approached the casket. I put the rose on top of her casket,when the rose left my hand I began to cry harder.

"Goodbye, Nezi. I love you." I whispered.

Tears flowed out and just wouldn't stop. Why did she leave me like this? What could I have done? Was there anything I could do? Did she even tell me she was so sad? When I look back on everything, it didn't add up. She just seemed so happy.

Some one put their hand on my shoulder. It felt like a woman's hand.

"I know this is hard for you. You were her best friend. She loved you." Her stepmother Amanda's voice slithered through my ears before I turned to see her. Looking at her face you would think she had been crying. Her eyes were red, but they were emotionless and cold. She wiped her face with a handkerchief, but it was dry when she put it down. This woman was the devil. I hated her so much.

"Thank you." I turned to Donovan and her father Eric. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you feel."

Eric and Donovan just nodded. My mother pulled the parents into a conversation. I walked with Donovan to the car. When we reached the doors he paused and pulled me into a hug. " I miss her so much Mel." He quietly cried into my shoulder.

"Me too Donnie" I told him.

We held each other and cried for a few moments.

He wiped his face. He was so red from crying so hard. I'm sure I looked about the same.

"I gotta get out of here. Ill see you later Mel." He opened his car door and started to get inside. I stopped him from closing the car door.

"Donnie if you need anything I'm here for you. Call me if you need me."

He nodded and closed his car door. I could hear the car start and stepped away from it. I turned to start walking toward my mother. I heard him pull away. My heart hurts for him.

The adults were finishing their conversation as I walked up to them. We said our goodbyes and headed towards the car. The drive home was a long and quiet one. When we got home it was 8 at night. I just walked upstairs and started getting ready for bed.

That night I dreamed of her and said my final goodbye.