bubbles/sam thomas

happy brithday, leah.

(bold and italic=leah narrating)
tw-eating disorder talk

THESE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN ANYTHING BUT EASY.

leah stood in front of her bathroom mirror, trying to brush her hair. but as she did, more and more of it fell out. finally, she gave up and pulled all of the hair in the brush out of it and into the trash.

i've started loosing my hair. this has never happened before. it's not just when i wash my hair that large clumps come out. if i even run my hand through my hair, a dozen strains will come out.

throwing the brush onto the counter, she went downstairs to get some breakfast, otherwise known as water.

i know i promised dawn i would eat in return to her keeping my secret until i really need help, but when you have a eating disorder, you can't just eat like that. it takes time. you can start off with smaller meals, and soon go on. but that hasn't been working for me.

"morning leah!" ginny greeted her, as she walked into the kitchen, "what's on the schedule for today?"

"uh...babysitters club meeting, birthday planning, and yeah. that's about it." leah said, as lola made her a plate of fruit.

"any ideas for your birthday?" ginny asked, giving louise a bowl of cereal.

"uh...probably just the girls over. thomas, spiers, schafers, kishis-"

"you know, i had an idea for your birthday." lola said, placing the fruit platter in front of leah, "what about a bigger? party? like one with dresses, big dresses. and a huge cake-"

"mom that sounds terrifying." leah said, taking a little bite of a kiwi, "and also, it sounds more of a sweet sixteen thing."

"no! we could rent this huge tent, and it would be like a ball! you could be cinderella!" lola smiled.

"i'd rather be like rapunzel." leah said.

"you can be any princess you want! just...think about it, ok? it would be fun."

••••

"OKAY! TODAYS CLUB DISCUSSION...LEAH!" kristy announced, doing jazz hands at leah, who was attempting to clean her dirty roller skates.

"what?" leah asked.

"your birthday! what are we gonna do for it?" clauida asked, as she was painting stacey's nails.

"uhh...dunno yet. probably just a small party." leah shrugged.

"for your 15th birthday? which is then your 16th birthday? no. we should do something awesome!" mary anne cheered.

"like a water park!" mallory smiled.

"...like get a water park for my birthday?" leah asked, as mallory shook her head yes, "let's put that on the sweet 16 list."

"what about a pool party?" kristy asked, "at a pool party, i can continue my tradition of smashing your head into the cake after you blow out your candles."

"no! no. no swimming." leah said.

"leah, you can stay in the shallow end." jessi assured her.

"no. just...we've been swimming all summer. let's do something else!" leah smiled.

"what about we have a bonfire!" dawn recommended.

the girls started to agree with her.

"and then we can all throw something into the bonfire to represent letting go! i can throw my necklace my dead cousin gave to me in it!"