Once More | SWKNU/YLIA

Chapter 2 - Over Again

Hi, everybody.

Can I just say that I was literally a blubbering baby after finishing Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso's manga? *runs away crying after publishing the chapter*

BTW, have you guys heard about the 'miracle' meant for the anime? The trending Twitter hashtag thing.. *continues to sob*

I know what love feels like. Let me just say this: It hurts. It really does. Especially when you know when the one you love doesn't love you back. That only makes things worse.

*wipes away tear stains on my face* Enjoy! </3

-

Arima Kousei

The sounds of my footsteps echoing are the only thing I can hear as I continue to walk up the hospital steps to see her. People always say 'time flies when you're having fun'. Time slipped away as I continued to fall more and more in love with Miyazono Kaori. It's the exact opposite when you dread something. Time goes by at the pace of a snail, agonizingly slow. I don't want to see her, yet I do.

Watari and Tsubaki both forced me to see her, believing - no, hoping - that it would help me escape this void. This eternal and painful void known as love.

Love hurts. The pain of it tugs at my heartstrings, stops my breathing, brings tears to my eyes.

Why does it hurt so much? And why do things like this keep happening to me?

First my mother. I played and played till I no longer could, just for her to recover soon. Nothing happened. In the end, she still died.

Now..

Her honey-blonde hair. The way her dark blue eyes would look at me. The sweet sound of her voice. The way she'd attack me to get my attention. The things she'd throw at me come to mind, bringing a small and sad smile to my face as I carry on dragging my feet up the stairs. I want to see her.

I want to see the girl I've fallen in love with again.

-

"Well," she starts with a sheepish laugh as I look at her from the hospital door. "They let me out of the ICU. It was weird, being alone in there."

My grip on the canelé's paper bag only tightens, closing my throat.

She's being so casual about this; I hate it.

The sound of the crumpling wax paper bag seems to have caught her attention since she looks at the bag with such anticipation. "Oh! You got me canelés after all!"

I suddenly feel my grip on the paper bag loosening, my fingertips slipping against the waxy surface of it.

My knees begin to shake, threatening me and my stance, forcing me to lean against the wall and look down as I try to keep down the bile that threatens to pour out of my mouth at any second.

Has she always had the ability to make me feel this way? Or is it.. The shadow of my mother all over again?

I take several deep breaths, none of them helping since they all feel hollow and empty. I stare at the hospital room's linoleum floor taking another deep breath to keep the tears that threaten to fall in.

The shaky breaths I take don't seem to help, so I slide down on my behind onto the floor, closing my eyes as the tears start to fall.

I hug my knees to my chest on the floor, my hands shakily covering my face as I continue to cry.

"Why?" I ask her bitterly in between my tears. "Why do things like this keep happening to me?"

My still heavy chest continues heaving as I cry, leaving my face drenched with tears and sweat. I pull my hands away from my face and look at her. Her face is deathly pale, my world's turning gray again.

I can't see the twinkle in her eyes anymore; I can't see or feel the strength she used to bear.

All I see is the girl with a broken smile.

My hands continue to shake violently as I look at her.

All the happiness in my life is fading away from me, and I can't bear it.

"Let's go to the roof, I need some air."

-

I pick her up and carry her, piggyback style up the stairs leading to the hospital's rooftop.

"One word about my weight and I'll kick your butt," she threatens me without even missing a beat. I snort at her violent attitude's return as I hoist her up, adjusting my grip.

"I promise you, I wasn't planning on saying anything. Besides, it wouldn't kill you to eat more, would it?"

Her grip on my school uniform tightens as she clutches onto it as well as the bag of canelés.

She's so light..

As I open the door leading to the roof, a rush of wind hits both our faces, making me squint. The air is cold, the blast of wind seems like a slap to the face, now that I think about it.

I place her down on a bench near the hanging hospital bedsheets being left out to dry, taking in the scent of the cold air the weather has to offer us.

I look at her excited face, taking a bite out of one of the canelés. "Are you playing the piano?" She asks me with her mouth full.

I give her a small smile as I look at her, "No."

She snorts before replying, "I knew it.."

We remain quiet for the rest of our time on the roof.

-

After I carry her to her room, I sit by her bedside to hear what she has to say to me before I leave.

"Listen.." she starts. "I'm getting surgery done. On the 18th."

My heart skips a beat when she says it. "But- Why?!" I ask her in shock.

"It's all your fault," she says to me with a hollow laugh. "You're the reason for why I want to cling to life so much right now. All the moments we've shared. I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget about them. I don't want to forget you. So, I'll struggle. I'll struggle so that I can play the violin once more, with you by my side as my accompanist."

I stay quiet through it all. My bottom lip trembles, threatening the tears within me to fall. "I can't play anymore, though. I can't do it anymore. Don't you see?" I ask her with a shaky voice.

She takes my hand and holds it up, her palm resting against mine as she intertwines her fingers with my own. "I want you to stay with me, two nights before the surgery." She whispers to me. "One last time. One last try to start over again, Arima Kousei."

I squeeze her hand and hold up her hand against mine, taking a shaky breath.

"Okay."

-

Next chapter will be our last! I apologize for the chapter length, I don't like things to be rushed!

Have a nice day!

I'll be off watching the final episode and doing my HW!

Ja ne!

-LGGH