⚠︎︎TRIGGER WARNING⚠︎︎ ⚠︎︎MAJOR WARNING⚠︎ ︎Sexual assault (R*pe) ⚠︎︎MAJOR [GRAPHIC] WARNING⚠︎︎ Suic*de attempt.⚠︎︎ ⚠︎︎Mention of Self-harm, depression, and angst. ⚠︎︎ ☠︎︎
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"It's raining" You mentioned looking out the window.
"I know, do you like rain?" Dr. Allison asked gently.
"Sometimes, not always." You replied honestly. "I'm gonna give you fair warning, the next part of my story is pretty sad, in my opinion."
"Bring it on" Dr. Allison chuckled.
* * *
247 days since I was thrown in prison, 247 markings on the walls. 49 completed tallies on the wall, and 2 stray lines waiting to be completed.
God, it was boring inside, I was grateful to have Cat because good treatment or otherwise, she kept me on my toes.
"Do you want to have some fun girl time?" Cat asked climbing next to me in bed.
"Not really" I mumbled.
"Come on! Let's have some fun girl time! We can do each other's makeup prison-style, or we could have a pillow fight?" She suggested. Rolling over onto her side, she cupped my cheek and ran her thumb along my lips. "Or we could have a different kind of girl time, it's still fun, might be a little rough, might possibly end with us both having an orgasm."
"Cat, don't get me wrong, I want to, like really, really want to but I'm just not-"
"Not what?" Cat questioned. "Not in the mood?"
"Yeah" I sighed.
"Oh come on, nothing cures depression like a good orgasm" Cat exclaimed wrapping her leg around mine.
"What might actually cure my depression, is not being locked up for something I didn't do" I moaned.
"Well, I thought you had figured this out by now. It's a cruel world we live in" Cat exhaled etching ever so slightly closer to me. "You need to start doing what I do... You need to look on the bright side of things."
"For example?"
"If you didn't come here, you wouldn't have become friends with me, we wouldn't have had amazing sex-" Cat began.
"I guess not, instead I would have been married to the love of my life, potentially with a kid on the way, and possibly a lifetime of happiness" I pointed out.
"Y'know what? Fuck you" Cat snapped sitting up in bed. "You keep talking about how perfect your life was, and how perfect Spencer is, yet he's the one who left you with his Alzheimer's ridden, schizophrenic mom who attacked you on multiple occasions. The way he treated you led to you taken coke to numb the fucking pain of life! Spencer Reid is not fucking perfect! He doesn't love you like I do! And so his visits will get less frequent and then one day he'll just stop coming to see you! Because that's what men do! I have been nothing but nice to you and you can't fucking appreciate it, so fuck you!"
