Hiatus

Two ghosts (April/May)

We're not who we used to be
We're not who we used to be
We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me
Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat

Harry had to go back to L.A. in April. Louis reassured him that it was okay but Harry could see how sad he was. They hadn't really talked about everything they needed to talk about and Harry was kind of relieved. He didn't have any answers. He was still a mess and so was Louis, dealing with his mum's illness.

A new management unfortunately didn't mean that he was off the hook when it came to stunt dating. It made him mad and frustrated but Jeffrey had at least been more open for the idea to give him more artistic space to express himself when it came to outfits and stuff, which was the main reason he had chosen him. Baby steps.

He had to be seen with Kendall Jenner, which was okay. They were friends. He gave Louis a heads up. Stunt dating and beards were something they had been dealing with for many years. In the beginning, they had both been insanely jealous but they had thankfully reached a point where they didn't care as much. It was a price they had to pay. They just informed each other when they had to do a public thing and they didn't really discuss it. Harry just wished that he hadn't drawn the short end of the stick. Louis was the one who publically had long-term relationships while he had to be portrait as the flirt, the womanizer. It was an image he despised. He had been committed to the same man for six years for crying out loud. He was married!

Nevertheless, he had some fun days with Kendall. He liked her company. He texted Louis every day to check-in and to ask about his mum. The treatment seemed to work so far and he couldn't be more relieved. Jay meant the world to Louis and losing her was unthinkable.  He called every Sunday as well but Louis didn't seem to mind.

He went to his first therapy session. It felt hella awkward at first. He didn't really know what to talk about but after she reminded him that everything he told her was in confidence he relaxed a little. She asked him to start from the beginning, so he did.

Talking about it all made him nostalgic. He remembered their first years for the first time they met, how exciting and scary it was to fall in love, secret touches, midnight confesses, the first kiss.

He suddenly remembered a song he wrote a couple of years ago, after the first time Louis broke up with him. He found it in one of his notebooks and decided to put a melody to it. The song had been too personal to put on a One Direction album but maybe it was perfect for a solo one?

Between therapy and trying to start a label of his own he ran lines for the movie. All three things excited him for different reasons. Therapy helped him on a personal level. Maybe he could finally figure out who he was? Starting a label of his own excited him. Maybe he could sign some great artists and treat them better than his own label had treated them? He wouldn't run it by himself for obvious reasons but he had found someone that shared his vision for the label and he would be his own first client. He had decided to make an album after all. He needed to be signed to a bigger label though even if his record would be distributed by his label. He had decided to call it Erskine Records. 
Erskine was a Scottish name that meant high cliff.

They started shooting and he loved being on set. He was shy at first but everyone was really nice so he relaxed a little. It was new and exciting and he really tried his best, staying up late to read lines and read up on the historic event to know everything about it. He threw himself into work and the outside world stopped existing for a moment but then he got a call from Jay that made him jump on a plane back to England.

Louis

It felt like he could breathe again. His mum responded to treatment. He had no idea how he would manage to go through life without her.

It had been a while since he had been able to spend so much quality time with his family. It fucking sucked that it took something like cancer for that to happen. He made a silent promise to visit more often. His siblings were growing at the speed of lightning and he missed it when he was always on the run.

The fact that Harry had shown up after all gave him hope. He cared. Maybe they would be able to work things out eventually after all? Just having him there calmed him. They didn't have to talk about everything right now. That was okay.

His old management was bugging him about seeing his so-called girlfriend. A mum with cancer apparently didn't get him off the hook from a contract he unwillingly signed.

His mum assured him that she would be fine by herself for a while so he took a break and headed to Monaco to watch the Grand Prix and he brought Danielle with him to please his old management, and the new one as well.

He came home to England again and accompanied his mum to a wedding. That was when she decided to give him some devastating news.
"Boobear, the treatment doesn't work. I'm not gonna make it."

He stared at her in shock, tears welling up.
"What? I refuse to accept that. We'll find another doctor, another treatment. I'll take you around the world if I have to."

"I just want to enjoy the time I have left. Spend it with my loved ones. It's okay sweetie." Jay said softly, hugging him tightly.

"It's not okay! I can't do this without you, mum." Louis said brokenly.

"You can, and you will. You're gonna live for the both of us."

He made it home to London before he broke down. He crawled into bed, folding himself like a ball, and cried his heart out. He couldn't breathe.
"Oh Lou."

He looked up and Harry was standing in the doorway to their bedroom. What was he doing here? He walked over to the bed and laid down and wrapped his arms around him. Louis turned around and held on like a drowning man to a lifebuoy. Harry whispered soothing words and rocked him back and forth. He was crying as well. Eventually, Louis fell asleep from exhaustion and Harry just laid there and held him.