Perfect Double Suicide ~Dazai Fanfiction

#8

Chapter 8

After we left, we went back to his apartment. I felt bad for what happened yesterday, so I kept quiet after we entered. I guessed he noticed, because he threw me a smile. "Cheer up" He said and tilted his head to his right. I put on a fake smile and nodded.

"Follow me, I want to show you something" He said and walked out of the room. I followed him and was wondering what he wanted to show me. He went with me into his bedroom and then out of the balcony he had. When I stepped outside, I saw the sunset over the horizon of the city. "Oh wow the view is really great!" I said surprised and he smiled at me. "I thought you might like it. I chose this place for the view alone" He gave back and I turned my head to him.

He was still smiling, but looking at the sunset now. His brown hair was softly waving around his face in the breeze. The golden light of the under going sun was coloring his skin in a beautiful shine. My eyes started to study the details of his face. His eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips. My eyes stopped there and for a second I wondered how it would feel to kiss them. Dazai turned his head and look at me. Like I was caught thinking something wrong, I blushed in a dark read and turned quickly away. "Oh what did I do now?" He asked and I could feel him grinning at my back. I bit on my lip and felt my heart beating pretty fast.

Oh god he caught me thinking about- OH GOD Why did I Think about that? I gasped and blushed even harder. What the hell? WHAT IS HAPPENING???

I shrugged together when I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Hey are you okay?" He sounded worried. My heart started beating faster and where his hand laid I felt it starting to get warm. I couldn't get a word out so I just nodded. He turned me around but I slapped embarrassed my hands into my face. "Oh is it because of me?" He said surprised and laughed. "I do make you blush a lot, don't I?" Again I could swear I felt him grinning.

I wish I could just sink into the ground at this point. His hand left my shoulder and I all the warmth went away again. Then suddenly, I felt both his hands around my wrists. I opened my eyes shocked, when he pulled my hands gently out of my face. "No need to hide yourself from me sweetheart" He said and smiled softly, while tilting his head to the right.

Sweetheart...That name echoed in my ears. Nobody but my mother ever called me that. I looked into his eyes and a small smile overcame my lips. "Sweetheart?" I asked and he chuckled. "Well aren't you're one?" He gave back. I blushed again and looked ashamed away.

"Hey sweetheart" He said and gently laid his hand under my chin, lifting it up so I would look into his eyes. I blushed a bit harder and he chuckled again. "How come I make you blush like that?" He said lowering his voice. He leaned down to me ear. "I bet you do like me a bit" He whispered into my ear and I felt my heart make a turn. His breath on my earlobe send shivers down my skin and I gasped.

How- How does he do that? I thought, trying to understand what was happening, but I couldn't comprehend. I couldn't actually like him, or- He went away from my ear and stopped just a bit before my face. "Tell me..." He took a strain of my hair and wrapped it around his finger. "Do you seek to kiss me?" He asked and I gasped again, blushing even more. Fast I looked away again.

Did he notice that? Oh god!

He chuckled and lifted my chin up once more and I looked into his glowing eyes. He was definitely enjoying this. "Then do it" He said and my eyes widened. What did he say? I swallowed heavy and blinked a few times. "Go on" He provoked me. My eyes went down to his lips and then up to his eyes again. Then I shook my head real fast. "Mhhh I see" He stepped back and let go off me. "I read that wrong then I guess" He sighted and lifted up his hands in the air. "Happens" He grinned at me and turned around to walk back inside the apartment. I just stared after him not able to believe what just happened.

I think I- I actually like him... I blushed once more thinking about that and I shook my head really hard. No I can't! I can't like him. I never liked anyone, or kissed anyone! I can't start now with him. I gave myself a small slap and then went back inside the apartment. My heart started to beat faster, when I found Dazai in the hallway.

He turned around and smiled at me. "Did you cool yourself down?" he asked and I blushed again. "I see you didn't" He closed the door from the room he was coming from and walked up to me. He pulled me at himself, took my head into his hands and laid his lips over mine. It all happened in a blink of a second. When I realized what happened he was already kissing me. My heart felt like it just exploded and I froze in complete shook. "Huh?" Dazai went back with his head a bit. "What is it? Was that wrong?"

Did he- Did he just kiss me? I opened my eyes wide and jumped back, slapping my hand on my mouth. "Oh god!" I squeezed out and ran back to the balcony. I felt my whole face burning as I tried gasping air.

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!

When I finally calmed down myself I knew, I couldn't stay here at his place, or I was going to turn insane. I went back inside and found him laid on the sofa, sleeping in a really weird position. When I entered, he woke up and stretched himself. He sat up and yawned. "I am hungry!" he complained and looked with big eyes at me. "Weren't you supposed to cook for me?" he said and grinned. I looked down to him and my heard skipped a beat. "Well do you have food in the fridge?" I asked and he shook his head. "Then I can't cook" "Aweee maaan! Then I have to order something" He took his phone out.

"What you wanna eat? Pizza?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't care much" He looked up to me and gave a "Hmm" from himself. "I'll get us some Pizza then" He called the delivery service and shortly after when to the door. Walking in circles and waiting for the doorbell to ring.

"He isn't gonna come in a while" I said after watching him draw circles for a while. "I know, but I am really hangry!" He kept on walking around, till the Pizza finally arrived. He jumped happily with the boxes around and placed them on the table. "Let's eat! Let's eat Let's eat!" He called and sat down.