Damaged Hearts

54-Voicemail

"Then what is it, because you are seriously scaring me Cora." I say and her bottom lips trembles. 

"It's about Liv." She whispers out and I feel my self start to crumble. 

The pain in her voice should tell me what she's about to say but I can't think about that. It isn't possible. 

"She was in an accident, th-this truck was speeding down the hill in the rain and c-couldn't stop fast enough. Sh-she didn't make it Alex." Cora chokes out. 

I clench my chest harder.

She's wrong, she misunderstood. 

"No." I whisper. This isn't how it was supposed to go. 

We had a plan, a future together. She's my future, she isn't gone. 

When I get there can you just hold me? Yes baby, I'll hold you forever just come back to me. 

Tell me that I imagined it that you are still on your way and that you'll be here soon. 

I fall to the floor no longer being able to stand. My body is shaking and I feel my self struggling to breathe.

They say when something like this happens it feels like your heart stops. 

They're wrong. 

My heart is beating erratically in my chest, reminding me that I am here and she isn't. 

I just need you. I need you too. 

My knees are tucked up and my head is buried in my arms. 

Am I crying? I think I am. I can't be sure. 

I don't think I can be sure of anything anymore. 

I feel Cora's arms wrap around me, trying to sooth me. 

Nothing can take away the empty pain I feel in my chest. 

"I'm here Alex." Cora whispers against the top of my head. 

The pain in my chest, the sinking feeling in my gut. Something inside of me knew. 

My door swings open and I hear two sets of feet walk inside. 

"What's going on?" My mom asks softly. 

My body feels like it's trying to destroy from the inside out, that's what's going on. 

Cora removes herself from me and I hear her talking in a hushed voice.

You make me want to live, she once said to me. 

She'll never be able to. 

She'll never graduate from high school, never go to college or see the world. She'll never get married or have kids.

Nothing. 

I look up to see my family staring at me. They're all crying but the way they are looking at me with such pity. 

I hate it. 

I hate it all. 

The one person in this world who ever understood me is gone. 

My mom takes a step closer to me, maybe to try and comfort me I'm not sure. 

All I know is I don't want any of them here. 

"Get out." I say lowly. 

I just need to be alone. 

My mom sighs, "Honey maybe you shouldn't be alone right now." She says softly.