The Only Exception

Chapter 25

He was silently crying on my shoulder. Hindi ako umimik. Ayaw nang dagdagan ang sakit na nararamdaman niya dahil kung sasagot ako ay mas lalo lang lalala. Patuloy pa rin kami sa mabagal na pagsayaw.

"Pero ayoko sanang magmadali (huwag kang magmadali)..."

"Just...just one hug, please. Isang yakap lang, yakapin mo naman ako...kahit hindi na totoo, kahit kunwari lang, kahit kunwari ako pa rin kahit hindi na. I promise, just one hug and I will stop."

His voice was breaking so bad. Ramdam ko ang mga luha niya sa balikat ko.

"Kay tamis, kay sarap, ngunit ito na ang huli..."

Iniangat ko ang kamay ko at unti unti siyang niyakap. As my hand touched his back, I felt him shaking even more.

Some of the people was already looking at us. Kakaunti na lang rin ang sumasayaw.

"Ang hirap hirap mong palayain, Curns."

Bawat salitang sinasabi niya ay tumatagos sa akin. I can feel his pain, but I know I can't ease it.

"Kailangan na yata nating umuwi..."

"Thank you for loving me. For giving me the chance to show you how much I am in love with you. Thank you for trying to love me again. And thank you for telling me the truth."

Humikbi siya, habang ako ay nakayakap lang sa kanya. Hindi siya nagsalita at patuloy lang kamk sa pagsayaw.

"Ang hirap hirap mong pakawalan." he whispered on my shoulder. "Pero kailangan."

Tahimik kong pinapakinggan ang pag iyak niya.

"Hawakan mo aking kamay bago tayo maghiwalay...lahat-lahat ibibigay, lahat-lahat..."

"Kailangan kasi kung pipilitin kitang manatili...masasaktan lang kita, hindi ka magiging masaya."

Because that's how life works, there are circumstances that we need to say goodbye to a chapter we thought the end.

I keep on caressing his back. Trying to hush him silently.

"Paalam sa 'ting huling sayaw...may dulo pala ang langit..."

Hindi ako nagsalita. Hinayaan ko lang siyang sabihin lahat ng nararamdaman.

"I am sorry that I made you feel this way, Conrad." mahinang sabi ko. Hinigpitan ko ang yakap ko sa kanya.

We were dancing slowly as we were both hugging each other.

"Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw sa ating huling sayaw..."

"You need to move forward; you will be okay soon." ang tanging sambit ko.

"How?" tanong niya.

Hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko dahil kahit ako ay hindi rin alam kung saan mag uumpisa.

"Tell me how will I move forward if the next step I should take will lead me off to the end of the cliff? Kung ang unang hakbang na gagawin ko ay papalayo sa 'yo?"

I stopped dancing. I suddenly feel that familiar feeling of pain. I am asking myself the same question.

"Paalam sa 'ting huling sayaw (paalam na sa 'ting)...may dulo pala ang langit (huling sayaw)"

The truth is, I don't know how to answer it. Dahil kahit ako ay hindi alam ang sagot, hindi alam kung saan mag uumpisa pagkatapos ng gagawin ko.

"Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw... sa ating huling sayaw..."

I decided that after this night, I will tell Ryan my feelings about him. Kahit huli na ako. I will still tell him this because I've learned that love expects nothing in return.